Scammers say the funniest things, in 2010

[Central Scrutinizer]

I'm sure they will say something funny. They always do.

KINDLY KEEP YOUR WINNING PRIZE TO YOURSELF, TO AVOID DOUBLE CLAIM.
Hey, you give me prize, believe me, I will keep it to myself.

[Sphinx]

As you read this, I don't want you to feel sorry for me
Dude, not a problem. No one feels sorry for scammers.

[Garreg Ddu]

One email, a million laughs. Where do they get this garbage from?


Be informed that after our thorough investigation we are authorized
under paralegal law and authority concerned to appoint a reliable bank
(Old Mutual Bank Plc London United Kingdom) that will effect your
payment after authenticating your bank particulars and re-validating
of your payment documents in the Royal Crown of Justice, London.


and


REF: we have instructed old mutual plc, London to effect all delay
overdue payment: issued you afresh ATM card, cheque, casher’s
certified draft, online electronics bank account or key tested
telegraphic transfer (KTT ), this special arrangement is to eliminate
scam artist!

Our interest is to protect human rights and the law of the land.


All from Antonio Marie Costa - Director – General, Drug and financial crime - United Nations (http://antifraudintl.org/showthread.php?p=84856#post84856)

[Spanish Administrator]

they refused me not to pay,
So they did not allow you to refuse to pay? They did not let you pay?

[Naruto]

Logos?

the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC) Oil Company in Logos
Logos?

[Kat]

Annielee found this one. It's in the French room. http://antifraudintl.org/showthread.php?t=31591

qui est basée à Colorado Sprints
An oil company is based in Colorado Sprints which is not quite the name of the 2nd largest city in Colorado. :rolleyes:

And this is a fun one, also in French.

! ! FÉLICITATION ! ! ! 20010
Yes, greetings from a lottery that is happening only 18,000 years from now.

[Central Scrutinizer]

AUGENT ATTENTION
Augent...is that a shade of blue?

[Ram D]

From Jeanloanlenders Mrs Jean Wall.


Jean Wall to fatherozzyosbo.
show details 12/23/09
Hi,

Please don`t burder in sending the payment via Western Union again, ok just forget about the loan because i have alreday inform the approval office to cancel the loan because , you are not the first Or even the only one that have make Payment via Western Union befor to the approval office, it is only in you that this aniti so call 419 is involved please keep the $200 with youand this loan has already be cnacel and i have better thingsd doing my dear and i am ledning you and not you lending me.

Please don`t even email me again because i will not listen to you Or answer you . i am woman of faith and now many that have send payment via Western Union has never complain like this only in you i have seen this and kind of diffent lie so don`t email me Or contact again
Do you think Father Ozzy Osbourne pissed her off?

[Spanish Administrator]

This is part of our precautionary measure to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program
Which raises the issue of if there is warranted abuse of a lottery scam program.

[Central Scrutinizer]

There is absolutely going to be a great doubt and distrust in your heart in respect of this email
No! Really? Seriously? Maybe I shouldn't even answer.

[Cold War Kid]

You will cotinue to receive reminders until final transfer of your prize money to your nominated account
Sounds like a threat to me, eh?

[Kat]

and keep this winning information confidential to avoid external claim.
Internal claims only, please.

[mysteryquest]

As a result of high rate of conflate going on in this country as of then, presently this money is still with the Security Company.

Yeah, money just gets stuck together, it must be the humidity.

[Central Scrutinizer]

GOD IS THE ULTIMATE GIVER!
But don't underestimate your ability to contribute to scammer welfare by sending your cash to a crook.

[Kat]

Who die in air crashed with his family?
I don't know. You tell me.

[Sphinx]

You can contact my son; MR. SUSAN GREEN
Not going to touch that one! There is a boy named Sue!

[Kat]

Email from David Stanley Karlsson:

PLEASE BEAR WITH ME FOR NOW AND DO NOT ASK MY NAME. WHAT I HAVE MAY BE OF INTEREST TO YOU. IT IS A BUSINESS PROPOSAL THAT WILL BE BENEFICIAL TO YOU AND I.
Okay David. It'll be our little secret. :rolleyes:

[Cold War Kid]

Holy lifting, what the....?

my attention was drowned to this said amount, in case of unforeseen circumstances.

[Templar]

from GREENLAND OIL/GAS SERVICE


species of crude oil

I wonder if they reproduce???

[Naruto]

The magnets are returned.

My father was a highly reputable business magnet

[Goody2shoes]

I love u as Hair love Head, I love u as mouth love teeth, I love U as Skin love Bone.

[Templar]

World Fund Discovery Management And Payment Bureau newly invented by the World Financial Service Authority

I wonder what else they invented.

[Kat]

Really pour. I mean poor.

Please, do not feel so poured as this message might meet you in utmost surprise.
Careful, I just waxed the floor.

[Dororo]

NOTE: PLEASE DO NOT EMAIL BACK TO ME IF YOU DO NOT HAVE MONEY TO ASSIST.
It's very clear scam.

[Central Scrutinizer]

To begin your claim, please call your claim agent or send email immediately.

DR. CHIN GU, TOYOTA CLAIMING SECURITY AGENCY,
I'd say get the guy a towel so he can clean up that mess.

[Quark]

we have about $10 Million US dollars that we want to move out of the country in three digital boxes .
I prefer to keep my money in an analog box personally.

[mysteryquest]

We managed to lay our hands on fund, suspected to be funds starched away by Saddam Hussein's family...

Hey, in the desert, if you are going to accumulate cash, you better starch it, or it will wilt!

[Hua Mulan]

To suppress this amount, please download and complete the form.
It's suppressing me. :o

[Naruto]

My husband Mr. Omar S. Fahad was the owner of Omar Sea Food Industry in Darfour region
Sea food industry in the desert. :confused:

[Shadow]

Sea food industry in the desert. :confused:

Maybe he means "See food", as in desert mirages?

[Spanish Administrator]

considering that your country is advance and peaceful than my war revenge country
Actually war is rather like its own revenge.

[Central Scrutinizer]

i work for the global scam Fither in CA 93535.
Anyone know what the or a global scam Fither is? Sounds like Bernerese.

[Phoenix]

i work for the global scam Fither in CA 93535.


Anyone know what the or a global scam Fither is? Sounds like Bernerese

Looks like this scammer is a Global Scam Fighter which is a pretty big deal when you can claim you are "Global" ... ho hum! :rolleyes:

[Central Scrutinizer]

How do you become a global scam fighter in Lancaster? And how can you be a scam fighter if you are part of the problem? :confused:

[Quark]

Oops.

This is to officially announce to you that some scam syndicates were apprehended in Lagos, Nigeria few days ago at western union agent location when they were about to pick up some money sent to them by their scam victims and they were handed over to the police, after several interrogations and tortures your name and contact details were among those mentioned
Is it just me that feels all warm and fuzzy to know that Nigerian police torture people?

[The Doctor]

This is to inform you that I came to Nigeria yesterday from London, after series of complains from the FBI and other Security agencies from Asia, Europe, Oceania, Antarctica...
So 419 scammers have beens scamming the penguins too?

[mysteryquest]

Please call, I wish to discuss it, but do not wish to communicate by e-mail as there are too many people trying to commit fraud this way

Besides him, of course. My mom always said "thief thief from thief, God laugh". That is the situation, he is apparently trying to avoid?

[Kat]

I wish to inform this because there is a lot of junks mail flying over to internet and some people are using advantage to collect account information from people on internet for fraudulent purpose
No!! I'm shocked! Shocked!!

[Hua Mulan]

I am Mr. Maliam Muda, the personal account officer to the great late diseased
I can't breathe. :rofl:

[Central Scrutinizer]

the great late diseased
That is sick. Just sick!

[mysteryquest]

Please let this massage not be a surprise to you ...


Generally, unsolicited massages do surprise me.

[Naruto]

We have intrusted to make a sing up fee
Like karaoke I think.

[Kat]

handed him over for trial on crime against inhumanity
Sounds like a former vice president who shall not be named.

[Gentle Giant]

that is why our service is superior to other loan sharks.
Always good to know that I'm in the hands of a superior loan shark. :rolleyes:

[Kat]

If you choose to ignore our request, you leave us no choise but to temporaly suspend your account.
What more can I say?

[Central Scrutinizer]

I think I got temporaly suspended once. It was painful as I recall.

[Ben]

Sent a new improved sex script
clearly the 'lady' hates talking about it .


I am very glad that you have written to me! Leo thanks that you have given the address.
Leo I wish you to tell that me I interest also I wish to test not only sex, but such fine feelings as love tenderness, care, understanding!
Leo I had earlier a person with whom I concerned but not long because I have learnt that he does not love me, to me it was very bad, but I have understood what very difficultly to find the person who will love and respect you. He wanted only sex from me and everything, it did not show any feelings to me, it enjoyed my trust and has offended me.
Therefore I have ceased to trust which men sex interests only and anything else because it will be very difficult to find the person which you to love.
Leo understand me correctly I wish to be love! Leo as you speak I the beautiful and sexual girl, but men as you, see in me only sex, wish to oversleep only with me and to have sex, for me it is opposite, because I search for the man which me will love not only because of sex, namely me, such what I am also to me not important that other people will think because I trust in love and I wish to feel it with the beloved. Leo you understand me?
Leo I will insist on the and I trust in love! Leo many men wanted from me only sex, to use my body, to be engaged only in sex and anything else. I many times saw such people and I did not start up them to myself because I knew in advance that they do not love me it it would be desirable only sex and anything else.
Leo therefore I have decided to search for the love through the Internet, I have got acquainted with you, I wished to believe that the love exists also men from other countries can and are able to love, but I was mistaken you too, as well as our men, want from me only sex and to use me, as well as all. Leo I do not want that so was, I search for love!
Leo I hope you me you understand?
I will look forward your answer.
Nastya!

[basenji]

The FBI is washing you

Really? Wash-wash?

[mysteryquest]

...if I fail to get a will next of kin before midweek, my late client will be indefinitely truncate...

I thought death was bad, but apparently indefinite truncation is much worse.

[Jessica]

They say opprtunity does not knock twice
Neither does opportunity. :rolleyes:

[Kat]

come to self realisation if you are true with the information
Um...some kind of message from my guru?

[frazzle]

Got me a sig line!!! And an Avatar!!!


In response to your email, who is the so-called [BAITERNAME]? Where does he work? What is his pedigree? Note I cannot compromise my profession, my family name over an of this nature with a “Personal no grater”


:D

[Cold War Kid]

Spit it out!

The FBI and the African union have agreed to have the card delivered to you through no other mince

[Templar]

Genderless Creature. :rolleyes:


She Wants My Wife To Divorce Her So She Can Marry Her

[Kat]

Here is my dirty number: +234 8037072682
Skip it. Send me the clean one. :rolleyes: God only knows, maybe it's some p**no phone line.

[mysteryquest]

I believe you are a highly respected personality, considering the fact that I sourced your email from the peoples search database on the web during my discreet search for a foreign partner...

A bazillion unsolicited emails is a discreet search? An indiscreet one would apparently bring down the entire internet.

[Nanook]

13st March, 2010
Maybe it's daylight savings time.

you are involved in a fatal automobile accidents that
True. Absolutely true.

[The Doctor]

a special ass advise to the OPEC
The only "advise" I can give is to always cover yours.

[Cold War Kid]

I HAVE TO COMPENSATE YOU OPEN ATTACHMENT
Is that like that guy from New York who had to resign from Congress because of the tickle fights?

[De Master Yoda]

ATTEMPTING TO COMMIT MURDER,DEATH TREATS

This is from our resident loony Daniel Berner, who says many times that he is an English teacher.:D

He must think it would be a treat if he were dead. :rip: :em18:

[Spanish Administrator]

This transaction is 100% risky legal.
I think that's an honest scammer.

[Kat]

If you are really sure of your trustworthy, accountability and confidentiality on his transaction, contact me
Let me think about it and get back to you on that one.

[Kat]

THE HERMS OF ADMINISTRATION
I'm sorry, but that would be a great name for a band. :rofl:

[Spanish Administrator]

A punk band I should think.

[mysteryquest]

Note that the only instrument I need right now is a new release hard diskette which i will advise you to get from the states and send it over to me by mail so that i will use it immediately to store all your information and do the necessary for transfer to be expedited.

I'm supposed to break into the Smithsonian to get one?

[mysteryquest]

I must let you know that I am a Christian and a Rev. Father and I don’t want to be cheated.

"Do on to others..." apparently does not apply here.

[Nanook]

LET US WORK TOGETHER AND SHEAR MONEY
This guy doesn't know about sheep. Or he's confused sheep and cash.

[The Doctor]

When I Prayed To God Or Allah About You.
So which was it?

[De Master Yoda]

Are you truly Dead OR Alive? Call Me + 234 80 33 819 703

I tried to call but the line was dead :rolleyes:

[De Master Yoda]

Does my haughtiness offend you

I would prefer your naughtiness, it would be more interesting:D

[De Master Yoda]

My heart will stop beating From email@abresch.de

Now that would be an inconvenience for you.

[Sphinx]

If interesting kindly send me the following data’s
If not, please delete this email..... :rolleyes:

[The Doctor]

What scammer Alfred Patricks (http://antifraudintl.org/showthread.php?t=35000) sends you once the fake cheque bounces.

Dear Friend,
How are you my good friend? i just received the worst news in my life.The mail you sent is making me mad. How can my costomer that brought goods from me be so wicked to send you fake check. By monday my company lawyer will have to suo them to court after we most have made our own investigation. We never wanted them (our customers) to be sending us checks but because most of our company representative dont like traveling to collect our funds from our customers. please sir i will want you to give us till monday or tuesday i will get back to you with goods result about this fake check which you have received. sorry for this again
My good friend await your response.

[Nanook]

You Can Confirm The Geniuses Of The Deceased death
Geniuses Of The Deceased death would be a great name for a goth metal band.

[Phantom]

The only money you will send to the office of　Western Union to transfer your Winning Prize in your country is ($155.00 US )　One Hundred & Fifty Five United States Dollars only being their official　processing fee so far.
So far....

[Cold War Kid]

Assurance: Note that this transaction will never in any way harm or foiled your good post or reputation in your country
That makes me sleep better at night, eh?

[Kat]

i have been surffering from ovarian cancer disease
Surf's up!!

for the Royal bank Of Scoltland(RBS) in Glasgow,Scoltland
Scoltland, near Egnland. :rolleyes:

[mysteryquest]

IF YOU KNOW THAT YOU WANT TO RECIEVE YOUR BANK/DRAFT proceed and send the DHL Delivery Charges $250 and stop delaying my time.

Wow, he's in a hurry to rid himself of this mortal coil. Could I be liable for his death if I send the DHL Delivery Charges?

[Ram D]

The 64.000.00 dollar question?


What do you mean by the shagging of the holy goat??

didn't you see the string i use in tieing the bible to my penis.

Wrong answer.

[mysteryquest]

May I have the pleasure of introducing myself?

Hey, apparently its your world, knock yourself out!

[Marie]

CONGRADTULATION!!!
Thnak yuo.

[Sphinx]

One faithful morning...
Isn't that a song by Rodgers and Hammerstein?

[Kat]

So after the business, we decided to deposit the money in Africa
Good choice! I always deposit my spare cash in an African bank. :rolleyes:

[Miyuki]

please i beg you not to respond to this email because it will not help you.
And honest moment from a scammer/criminal.

[Central Scrutinizer]

I like freebies.

BENEFITNG MASSAGE FOR URGENT ASSISTANCE

[Dororo]

the BRISTISH FINANCIAL SERVICE AUTHOURITY
It sounds like Bernerese.

[Cold War Kid]

Quit Joking around. :rolleyes:

JOAKIN COMPENSATION HOUSE

[Kat]

And now am hiding in one of gest house in Bourkina Faso.
Somehow, I gest that. :rolleyes:

[Sphinx]

Contact Person. Mr. Ferry Terry
Terry is a fairy?

[Nanook]

Get going.

the doctor says that i have just two days to leave.

[Kat]

You should contact me immediately as soon as you receive this letter on my privet phone number
What a shrubhead. :rolleyes:

[Sphinx]

we discovered the trunk box contain liquid cash
That's why money just flows through my hands.

But this gets even better:

because he is now recovery from a fatal accident
:rofl:

[mysteryquest]

You are not lieing I have got all the document to cover it up.

In scammer land, if you drop a sheet over the body, there was no murder.

[mysteryquest]

Flight Status: Not Active......Pending Payment Of Refundable Insurance Fee!


Wow, I make a claim, insurance pays it, I don't make a claim, insurance refunds my premium. Works for me.

[Miyuki]

your physical present is needed here to sign the payment voucher and release bond
Send your presents.

[mysteryquest]

One of the most common unintended consequences of Internet is the scams. Scams represent a major treat for companies and individuals that are doing business online.

Ummm, yummy?

[The Doctor]

it will take only 24hours for the fund to be credited in your designated Bank account, you will be contacted by your Bank herself.
Yes, have my bank herself call me.

[Quark]

Meanwhile I was very fortunate to come across the deceased file
If you want you can call that luck.

[Kat]

AM WAITING TO HERE FROM YOU TODAY
I hope that's a pun but I suspect it isn't. :rolleyes:

[mysteryquest]

All I require from you is your honest cooperation to enable us see this transaction through.

Is my honest cooperation suppose to neutralize his dishonest cooperation?

[Dick H Box]

Wow, he's in a hurry to rid himself of this mortal coil. Could I be liable for his death if I send the DHL Delivery Charges?

If only...

[Cold War Kid]

I will die within the next 3 months due to A Blood cancer {LUCAMIA}
I don't think you should be allowed to have a fatal illness if you can't spell it.

[mysteryquest]

He thinks it is a bad idea contacting you and that I could fall for scam.

How ironic, I was concerned about the very same thing...

[Cold War Kid]

In my position as the Financial Secretary to the President and close confidant, I left for Nigeria in his Encourage.
Maybe it's a car brand, the Encourage?

[Nanook]

Remember - if it sounds too good to be true, it is probably a scam.
Sound advice, right from the scammer's mouth. See: http://antifraudintl.org/showpost.php?p=101269&postcount=2

[Dororo]

Get back to us as soon as you receive this e-mail so that we can guild you on how to secure the Certificate within 72hours.
I want to be guilded.

[Kat]

This payment will be effected through Swift Telegraphic Transfer incunjunction with the sopport of the world bank.
I certainly hope not.

[Hua Mulan]

Forget your past now that I have contacted you.
What? What?

[Cold War Kid]

but in my mind, i burgeted 40% for you out of the total money.
Ketchup on my burget please.

[Dororo]

in THE REPUBLIC OF THE CHINA
He does not know his country.


He was a big business icon and philanthropist.
:rofl:

[Kat]

Please I want you to follow the claim of this funds immediately before the new swear President (JONATHAN GOODLUCK) will star cross-checkings the medical payment cheque files.
Uh. Yeah. Whatever. :rolleyes:

[Miyuki]

because I know they just making earns out of you
Does anyone know what an earn is? I probably don't want to be one.

[Cold War Kid]

And also be informed that 10% of your lottery winning belongs to (THE PROMOTIONS COMPANY). Because they are the company that bought your ticket and played the lottery in your name.
That explains a lot, eh?

[mysteryquest]

Before I continue, let me sensitize you with one law in Malaysia banking act.

I don't what kinds of laws you have in your country but you don't know me like that.

[Nanook]

I am sick .Please contact my lawyer
A doctor might be a better choice. :rofl:

[mysteryquest]

A doctor might be a better choice. :rofl:

Maybe he's terminally ill and doesn't want to expire without a will, a situation which happens all too frequently in West Africa, Malaysia and the UK.

[Jessica]

FEDERAL BUREA OF INVESTIGATION
LONDON FBIITED KINGDOM
FBIITED NATION PAYMENT APPROVAL
And you thought you had a bad day. Try and scam when you're drunk. :rolleyes:

[Naruto]

Account owner that refuses to update his or her account before two weeks of receiving this warning will lose his or her account permanently.
2 weeks before the email? Oh I am late.

[The Doctor]

I am afraid of my wreaked stepmother who has threatened to kill me
I would be afraid of my wreaked stepmother too, if I had one.

[mysteryquest]

NOTE :- ANY FORM OF IRREGULARITY OR FRAUDULENT ACT WOULD NOT BE CONDONED.

I hope that's a bilateral directive!

[Kat]

Goog Day.
Maybe he meant google day.

[Sphinx]

he is currently standard at Chicago international airport
I wonder if he is standard at LAX?

[Templar]

Hmm...


British citizen by birth but have leaved all my life in Russia


I wonder if he leaved.

[FreezeAndPixelate]

This one came in a while back when the scammer wanted an advance cut for all the work he had done:

i really don't need the money but i just want a committment from your end, no matter how small the amount might be.

[mysteryquest]

However, we have trace the lop holes and Prof.Charles Soludo has been fired for these illegal act and fraud activities.

Well I hope they fill them them too, you could turn an ankle or worse.

[Sphinx]

MAJOUR GROUP OF OIL COMPANIES
I hope that's a brand name. :rolleyes:

[Spanish Administrator]

Please contact the above under listed claims officer
Bit of a challenge, that one.

[Cold War Kid]

ICPC NIGERIA (Anti-Fraud Unit)
......we fight against fraud, funds delay and impersonation.
We fight against impersonation by impersonating the people who are fighting against impersonation. Any questions?

[Kat]

Attention: Family of Diseased
Evacuate the premises immediately!

[The Doctor]

There is an account opened in this bank in 2003 and since my inception into office on 4th Jan 2010,I then found this account
The immaculate inception.

[Jessica]

Since the deceased left no body behind to claim the fund
No he was probably six feet underground at that point.

[mysteryquest]

It may interest you to know that we discovered an unclaimed sum of money in favour of your email ...

Wow, I thought email addresses could only win lotteries, now they have money in their names? Soon they will have next of kin and inheritance rights! Step aside corporations!

[Sphinx]

And also the FedEx Courier Service Company hereby inform all their customers through this media by heradicating all their communication with the scam mails
Heradicating?

[Templar]

Heradicating?

Yeah Right, :lol:

Lord of Scammers, Grand Duke of 419 etc :rolleyes:

[Kat]

Be advise that the $99 is a compulsory as they told me that is only money you will pay until you receive your payment completely
Actually it isn't funny, it's true. It's only money you will pay, yours.

[Central Scrutinizer]

BECAUSE AS SOON AS YOU SENT THIS REQUIRED DETAILS TO MRS LULU MENSAH HE WILL START SENDING YOUR PAYMENT
Can any of these clowns proofread?

[Kat]

I have been suffering from Ovarian cancer deseed
Which is really serious. Trust me.

[Central Scrutinizer]

Should you be interested?
It's probably a rhetorical question.

[Cold War Kid]

Missionary J. C. Ezekiel, probably just spamming. http://antifraudintl.org/showthread.php?t=37638

pray for us too that GOD may open a door for our massage
Massage! Amen brother.

[Nanook]

For more information,all the interested applicants should send there C.V
Send it where?

[Kat]

please restor you bank of america acount
If I could restor my account I would have.

[Miyuki]

We have received the express mandate and instructions of the president, federal republic of Nigeria: ALHAJI UMARU YARADUA
I guess they are contacting him by séance because Yar'Adua has been dead for a few months.

[De Master Yoda]

I am writing to inform you that we have sent $5000 Usd via western unionas

A scammer who does not know how to spell Western union? he would be kicked out of the scammers internet cafe if they knew. :D

[Miyuki]

I don't think they have a good union, or a strong unionas.

[Templar]

From Yours Angle Peace.

So what angle is she coming from? :rolleyes:

[Kat]

An obtuse angle. :)


You will certainly ask yourself how consequential this letter is
Actually I won't ask that.

[Jessica]

Huh? what??

We do not reserve the right to adjust your delivery or provide alternative delivery method until approved by you.

[Templar]

Biological Warfare???



as dealers in Rough Uncut Germ of high quality :rolleyes:

[Kat]

3. QUESTION===========IN GOD
4. ANSWER============WE TURST
Another case of misplaced turst.

[Spanish Administrator]

I am suffering from a protracted cancer of the lungs, which has also affected my brain cells as a result of complications.
That greatly enhances my security in dealing with this woman.

[Central Scrutinizer]

You Should Contact Me Immediately to this Adders
Contact that snake!

[Hua Mulan]

And speaking about snakes:

he died in December 2008 as a result of POISONUS SNAKE BITE HE SUFFERED while hunting wide life
Next time hunt the thin life.

[Spanish Administrator]

and be informed that F.B.I is now wear of this transaction and they are now monitoring you so if you contact any office without this Western Union Department office you will be caught by the F.B.I
I suppose I should be worried if the FBI is wearing me.


Act urgently or your claims will be nulyfied
Which sounds very painful.

[mysteryquest]

Exceptional functional and technical expertise coupled with intellectual knowledge makes Grant Financial Services the ideal choice for a consulting firm to manage the implementation and distribution of any kink of lending service.

Wow, I always thought lending service was so staid!

[mysteryquest]

If you need a stress free funing,...

Well yeah, a stressful funing just isn't fun!

[Kat]

I have placed this fund on a SUSPENCE ACCOUNT
So....I'm on the edge of my seat.... :rolleyes:

[Kat]

With Due Respect To Who Is My Concern
I'm more concerned about the grammar, or lack of same.

[Sphinx]

Subject: A PROPOSAL YOU WONT REFUSE
Actually, I guess you did bet your money on that and you lost that bet.

[The Doctor]

Authourization Minister
And that makes it very official.

[Spanish Administrator]

And also the Nigerian Government is using this means to rewards all the citizens of the United states and all part of Europe including Asia, Australia, south America, Antarctica e.t.c
Europe appears to be exponentially larger than I knew.

[Shadow]

Europe appears to be exponentially larger than I knew.
That's a lot of people to reward! How much are we getting and when can I expect mine? :rolleyes:

[Templar]

From http://choicephone222.page.tl


providing extensive network coverage in all key areas throughout Great British.

:rolleyes:

[Gentle Giant]

The Federal Ministry of Finance (F.M.F), checkmates all local/International transactions in all Banks here in this country
In which case very little probably happens within the banking system.


our "Annual Payment mandate/gazelle",
Need I say more? The "widelife" in Africa is truly amazing.

[Dororo]

I took an oath of allegiance to settle all fraud victims peacefully.
I don't know what I get.

[Kat]

if you are not interested, please delete the message and don't reply to me.
If you don't get any response that will be me not emailing you.



I want to assure you that I did not just wake up and decided to do this
Nice use of the present stupidjunctive tense. :rolleyes:

[Kat]

I'm mining ingeneer.
Ask me where Geneer is. But wait, it gets better!

my father and my mother dead when I was very young and my grand parents who brought me up dead also.
Vampires? Zombies? What?

i have a leucemia
Oh good, well she only has one of them. Think about what it would be like to have several or many or a lot of leucemias. Ask me what a leucemia is.

[Sapphire's Strike]

We need to involve the concert of the money laundering council just in case things didn't work the way we planned......Kings Regards :D

[Hua Mulan]

Once the funds get to you, you take your 30% out and keep our own 70%.
So I think I get all of it.

[Kat]

I am 68 years old, I am deaf
And dumb. :rolleyes:

[Cold War Kid]

And emphatically won as well.

won prize fund of 615,500.00 Euros categorically in our lottery program.

[Dororo]

you have to seize communication with any other person different from me to avoid been mislead.
It is seized.

[Kat]

I need your assistant if you are interested and you should get back to me
My assistant is busy.

[Cold War Kid]

I am ill and would die having been diagnosed with cancer disease
Well don't let me get in your way, eh?

[Spidey]

I HOPE MY MEDIUM OF CONTACT TO YOU WILL NOT IN ANY WAY CONTRA VANE YOUR ETHICS OF BETTER JUDGEMENT
Not a problem.

[Kat]

WE WONT YOU TO FORWARD YOUR DETAILS SO THAT WE CAN BEEN ENABLE TO PROCEED WITH THE OFFICE DOCUMENTATION.
Well I won't!!

[Nanook]

He said whoever is contacting us through emails are fake.

I'll keep that thought in mind.

[The Doctor]

I Look forward for your earlier response
Back to the future I suppose.

[FreezeAndPixelate]

If anyone can do it, it's you doc :D ;)

[Kat]

Sometimes a person will open a bank account, deposit money, and then disappear into the tin air..
Probably using a led zeppelin.

[Nanook]

We deemed it necessary to inform you of your prize fund
Hey, thanks for thinking of me.

[Nanook]

My family is currently being probed by the government for evading inheritance taxes.
Ouch! Even a proctologist doesn't do that!

[Sphinx]

Let me make this perfectly clar:

I WILL REACH YOU FOR CLEARIFICATIONS

[Central Scrutinizer]

I have informed the bank about my intention to clam my late father deposit
I wish she'd clam up. :rolleyes:

[Miyuki]

WAITHING FOR YOUR URGENT REAPLY
Maybe it will be a long waith.

[Kat]

as we are going to become multi milliners
I always wanted to be a milliner. I never dreamed of being more than one of them.

[De Master Yoda]

in His Will, left Fifteen Million Dollars ash deposit

Now that would be one large pile of ash :rolleyes:

[Shadow]

Now that would be one large pile of ash :rolleyes:
He must have had it with him when he was cremated! :p

[Miyuki]

But if it happened we did not hear from you after 7days, then we say: MAY YOUR SOUL REST IN PERFECT PEACE"
Thank you.

Your Faitfully,
That sounds more ominous.

[Stillwaters]

Lad trying to impress me in a chat:

you are big and huge lady
Same lad talking about flying in a plane:

You know when you make long journey in the plen because the night change, you have to sleep at least 6 hours to recover your preasure
___________________________________________
“Not even for love’s sake, can I whisper in your ear, those lies you wish to hear.”

[Sphinx]

"I shall pass this way but once. Therefore, any good that I can do or any kindness that I can show, let me do it now, for I shall not pass this way again."
How weird is it to have a scammer quote that to you in a scam format?

[Nanook]

It was lebelled "Photographic Equipments"
That sounds like libel to me but I'm no lawyer.

[Kat]

(Verify Your Account Now To Avoid It Suspended)
Maybe I will just step to the side....

[Shadow]

I found your profile some where over the net and it gave me the greatestjoy,you are the one I have been looking for.Whom I strongly believe could execute this transaction with me. kindly get back to me for more information.

I'd rather be over the net than in it, which I hope is where he will be soon. :mad:

[Central Scrutinizer]

You must call me on my direct line# +234-8059-527-403 for serious discution.
Serious. None of that fake stuff.

[Gentle Giant]

Subject: YOU WILL BE ARRESTED IF YOU FAIL TO COMPLY WITH OUR INSTRUCTIONS WITHIN 72 HOURS ?
There appears to be some question abut this.

[mysteryquest]

If telephoning, please note that our orifce opening hours are:

Monday - Friday: 10.00am to 4.30pm
Saturday - Sunday: CLOSED

That isn't even going to work!!!!!

[mysteryquest]

NOTE TO PROCESS ONLINE PAYMENTS YOU ARE REQUIRED TO SUE THE WESTERN UNION OR MONEY GRAM CLOSEST IN YOUR LOCATION AS OUR COMPANY ACCOUNT IS UNDER AUDITING SO WE DO NOT TAKE CREDIT CARD TRANSFERS AT THE MOMENT AS IT WILL TAKE A LONGER TIME FOR US TO CONFIRM YOUR PAYMENTS AND PROCEED WITH THE HOME DELIVERY SO YOU CAN NEED THE MONEY TRANSFER MEANS FOR A QUICKER PAYMENT CONFIRMATION AT OUR SERVICE AND QUICKER DELIVERY:

Nothing would give me greater pleasure!

[Sphinx]

^^ :rofl:

With due respect I am glad to know you, but God knows you better and he knows why he has directed me to you,
I don't think God works that way.

[Cold War Kid]

in a Stunami Disaster in Thailand
I had that once!

[Nanook]

PLEASE BEER WITH ME
Who's paying?

[Sphinx]

NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO TOURCH IT UNLESS THE RIGHTFUL BENEFICARY.
.....choses to tourch it?

[Spidey]

The Federal Bureau of Investigation (F.B.I.) waded in after being alerted by the supposed bank.
Yeah it's not a real bank only a supposed bank.

[Kat]

I also want you to always put me in prayer.
I think the word "she" is loking for is PRISON, not prayer.

[Shadow]

I think the word "she" is loking for is PRISON, not prayer.
I'll put her in my prayers. I pray that she gets caught.

[Miyuki]

a Resident Foreigner, here in the United Kingdom, who died In the state,
I think he means intestate. :rolleyes:

[Kat]

if you do not receive your winning prize of $800,000.00 we shall be held responsible for the loss and this shall invite a penalty of $3,000 which will be made PAYABLE ONLY to you (The Winner).
So if I read this correctly the FBI only loses $3,000 if I don't collect my money but $800,000 if I DO collect my money.

[Sphinx]

^ I think you get at least $3,000 out of the deal either way.

THE OPTION I CHOOSED FOR YOU AFTER I RECEIVED AN UPDATE FROM THE FINANCE SECURITY AGENT IN CHARGE OF YOUR TRANSACTION IS VISA CREDIT CARD.
I'm glad she choosed that for me. That's an FBI agent talking. ;)

[Naruto]

NOTE: This is not of the scam emails you normally receive in your mail box every day
Yes it is very different.

[victim of many]

I like this email address: [unanti-fraud@w.cn] very carefully choosen.

[Nanook]

Compensation and Image Laundering program Board
So they need to launder their image.... :confused:

[mysteryquest]

Dear (Insert name here)
Regards to your preffered option, Sorry it took me long to
visited the courier company after reading your message
concerning the delivery of your certified bank draft to your
designated address,They demanded for US$60.00 meant for their
delivery cost and with assurance that you will get your check
in the next 2days.It is quit unfortunate that people rip off
some huge amount of money to deliver thier check.But i assure
you everything will be settle.

It's not enough that we get all these scam emails, now we're expected to help fill them out?
It is indeed unfortunate! Even more so when there is no check.

[Miyuki]

died as a result of Gassy Car accident
That's the worst kind.

[mysteryquest]

They should have just cracked the windows!

[Nanook]

I am residing in the missionary here in Senegal,where I ran to for safety, because of the political civil war in Sudan
And they said Forrest Gump was just a running fool.

[mysteryquest]

According to the doctor, my medical report quotes a very short life
sperm due to my health status presently.

You husband told you that was your fault?! He's either very clever or you're kind of gullible.

[Sphinx]

we have taking it upon our duty to monitor everything in other to
cub cyber crime
Cub it to death! You can't beat that with a stick.

[The Doctor]

From our intense investigation inspection and screwing, one person was discoursed to be A Bank Manager and one Diplomatic Officer
Lovely. :rolleyes:

[mysteryquest]

That must have been some discourse! I wonder if there is a security tape...

[Central Scrutinizer]

Your card was hold in our office due to Money laundering certificate
It's those damn money laundering certificates again. They always gum up the works.

[Central Scrutinizer]

still expecting a next of kin or relative of the deceased, Mr. Schmuck Scott.
I guess I could pretend to be a schmuck.

[Sphinx]

Maybe you don't need to pretend. :rofl:

[Cold War Kid]

This girl got problems! I don't understand them all but they sure look bad.

and Sold my father's property to an Italian Expert rate the shared Which Themselves Among the money and live nothing for me.

[De Master Yoda]

Maybe we can take up knotting together.


Can i have your address so that i can loom for a western union office close to you

[Nanook]

which I am willing to make available to you to sustain a claim for his personalty.
How do I know I want his personality?

[Kat]

OMG!!! NO!!!!!!

Your personal account was violated - 23 November 2010
I guess it can happen to anyone. :rolleyes:

[Kat]

I got your contact from January, 2010 worldwide database and yellow pages encyclopaedia after due consideration believing you are highly respected personality.
You know it, baby!

[Scam Buster]

Claims Requirements:

Martial Status________
(Black Belt :D )

[Crossbones]

Claims Requirements:

(Black Belt :D )

Obviously :D

[Miyuki]

2- Dormitilary Wire Transfer
What????

[Crossbones]

I know that he is a sincer Man and can help us out with sincer and trust


Sincer Man? What's this guy, a superhero with SINCER POWERS?
Oh, wait: he's PAUL ANKA :D

[Nanook]

Since the deceased left no body behind to claim the fund
At least there has to be a corpse.

[Sphinx]

Blow is the information you will send
Um, yeah, whatever.

[Sphinx]

Your percentage is assured.
0% of nothing = .......... Nothing!

[Central Scrutinizer]

a rare form of cancer of the pabcreas.
That is....pretty rare.

[Phantom]

If truly you are the person that sent your next of kin to pay your transfer fee
If my next of kin was in his office wouldn't that mean I was dead? :confused:

[Kat]

Not necessarily. In Scamland, all things are possible.

[Spidey]

DO NOT REPLY IF YOU ARE NOT READY TO REGISTER & AUTHENTICATE YOUR FUND WITH (IMF) AS INSTRUCTED BECAUSE THIS IS NOT A CHILD PLAY.
Yeah, these are adult criminals at work. :)

[Kat]

i want you to stand as the bona-fide next of kin to the desease.

Ewww......gross.

[De Master Yoda]

Posted by a romance scammer, who was foolish enough to try to contact members on AFI to scam them. :rolleyes:


I just want you know that my mother tong is English language,

[The Doctor]

Get back to me now if you are ready to do business with me. I might just spear your life.
It sounds like I am going to die either way I go with this.

[Spanish Administrator]

The ATM Card Value is $500,000.00 MILLION USD.
That is rather a lot of zeros.

[Kat]

YOU’RE KIND ATTENTION
Yes I am.

[frazzle]

Several funnies from one format...


We are writhing to know if it's true that you are DEAD?

All we need to confirm now is your been DEAD Or still Alive. Because this MAN'S message brought shock to our minds. And we just can't proceed with him until we confirm if this is a reality ORnot But if it happened we did not hear from you after 7days, then we say: MAY YOUR SOUL REST IN PERFECT PEACE"

YOUR JOY AND SUCCESS REMAINS OUR GOAL.

May the peace of the Lord be with you wherever you may be now.

Your Faithfully,
Mrs.Farida Waziri

[Marie]

During the intervention of the ECOLOGY Soldiers to Restore the presidency
I think they are green soldiers.

[Miyuki]

Dear Frind
With frinds like that who needs enemies?

[Kat]

I think it's a bad translation from French.

YOU MUST IMMEDIATELY TAKE NOTE WITH THE MAIL WHICH SE FINDS IN ATTACHMENT TO CLAIM YOUR PROFIT NEAR THE USHER.