Scammers say the funniest things, in 2012

[Central Scrutinizer]

We offer loan at 1% interest?
They don't know how much their own interest rate is?

[The Doctor]

Dear Valid User,
It's nice to know I am not an invalid user.

[Kat]

<imfuklondon1@hotmail.com>
Nice email address.

[Godzilla]

he needs a partner that can proficiently invest a given certain amount in tunes of excess of six zeros;
So maybe USD $ 0,000,000?

[Nanook]

Mistery Shopper
Definitely mysterious.

[Gentle Giant]

I NEED THRUST
Maybe strap on a couple of booster rockets and light the fuse.

[Nanook]

my stepmother and uncle conspired and sold my father's property to an Italian Expert rate
And I'm sure they got a great rate from that Italian.

[Gentle Giant]

I live with you in the same place. I'm beautiful and well appointed.
So, this is an email from my wife??

[Phantom]

Please be informed that any silent to this massage means that you were dead
Massaging the dead....I think that's called a mortician.

[De Master Yoda]

Your email Account has won you (GBP 600,000.00) Grate British pounds:rolleyes:

So does this mean the money is down the drain?

[Nanook]

I reside here in Carlifonia. My residential address is as follows.14 Rice Terrace Apt. 306 Branford, Connecticut 0640
I guess she has so much money she can be in 2 places at once. I don't know where Carlifonia is.

[Garreg Ddu]

I have decided to give arms to the needing in the societies

Oh Dear! They will be shooting everyone now!

http://antifraudintl.org/showpost.php?p=180297&postcount=2

[Dick H Box]

I guess she has so much money she can be in 2 places at once. I don't know where Carlifonia is.

West of Billyfonia?

[Jessica]

The choice of contacting you is aroused from the geographical nature of where you live, particularly due to the senility of the transaction and the confidentiality herein.
I just think he wants my body.

[Miyuki]

Speak china and some English.
And neither of them very well.

[basenji]

failure to reply back in the next 28hrs simply means what Mr. Jude Betsy said was right that you are dead

It is comforting to know that if I reply earlier, I'm alive, and Mr Betsy is wrong.

[Kat]

You’re faithfully
Undoubtedly.

[De Master Yoda]

i am AN ORPHAN from my child wood :D

Kind of gives a whole new meaning to the term " Family tree"

[De Master Yoda]

If about lover give lectures on morality to eggplant from line dancer, then grizzly bear toward hides.

Tell me More. :D

[Sphinx]

Good Dey
Wetin dey?

[Phantom]

MEANWHILE,I WAS VERY FORTUNATE TO COME ACCROSS THE DECEASED FILE
Ew. Gross. I don't know that's lucky.

[Kat]

we have taking it upon our duty to monitor everything in other to cub cyber crime
That is just un-bear-able.

[Central Scrutinizer]

That is just un-bear-able.
So are some of the puns around here.

[basenji]

Hello Complement .
How are you?

Scammer politeness.

[Kat]

someone by name and address ...........is about claiming it that you are dead.
Isn't that always the way? The minute I find out I have millions of dollars in a bank in Nigeria then someone else is trying to claim it!

[The Doctor]

ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONITARY CRIMES DIVISION
Spelling like this is a crime.

[De Master Yoda]

congratulation you have winnie

Crikey don't let my mrs find out!

[Dororo]

Note that we shall arrest you and jail you if we don't renew your documents
I think it is a problem.

[Marie]

I know this letter will come to you as surprise one but I want you to read this with maturity
Don't be a child!

[Central Scrutinizer]

Massage From Nadine Sidambaram
Not quite what I want Nadine but it could be a starting point.

[Sphinx]

Now it seems the regime of Col Gaddafi is coming to an end and no one knows what will happen next
Um yeah, these guys are really on top of the news. Maybe they should update the scam format. :rolleyes:

[Cold War Kid]

be careful with their e-mails so that your parcel will not be in danger with their evil planes.
Those flipping evil planes again!

[Kat]

BELSS YOU
The cat turns the tables?

[Gentle Giant]

UNITED SPACE ALLIANCE
Far out. I knew that we were not alone.


So this is just a clue to show you that we are very investigative and have all details to persecute you
No, no, No, yahoo boyz! That's our job.

[Spidey]

2ND NOTICE AGAIN
So that's like a third notice right?

[Sphinx]

I have contacted my secretary to confirm if you have received the compensation draft cheque of (US$10.500.000) which I issued in your name, but he told me that he could not send it to you because of the courier charges.
Yeah like who could even imagine how much it must take to send a check by a delivery company. :rolleyes:

[Hua Mulan]

Get back to us as soon as you receive this e-mail so that we can guild you
I am the golden girl!

[Gentle Giant]

PLEASE QUATE
I would do that if I knew what it was.

[basenji]

Is that when you make something quivalent to something else?

[Charlie's Angel]

The group of companies specialise in buying and selling refined products. This ranges from CRUDE, Gasoil, Gas and Jet fuel.

Refined Crude :confused:

[De Master Yoda]

Please view my attachment IS THE TRUTH AND NOTHING NUT THE TRUTH

I can be excused for calling scammers nutcases!!

[De Master Yoda]

Dear email owner,
I am a consultant in my sub -:D

Do I need to be able to swim?

[Kat]

you have been selected for a cash prize of Ј500,000.00 (Five Hundred Thousand Pounds Sterlings) and a brand new Peugeot 407 car 2009 model
Um, it's 2012. Why do I want a 3 year-old-model car?

[Spidey]

@ Kat, it's a 4 year old model car.


i have been surfering from ovarian cancer disease
Maybe she needs a new sport.

[The Doctor]

I have been battling virginal infection for a very long time but recently I was diagnosed with virginal cancer.
There is a cure for that......

[Kat]

I ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECEIPT OF YOUR EMAIL REGARDING THE RELEASE OF YOUR $1.58 INHERITANCE PART PAYMENT.
I think the stamps will cost more than my payment is worth.

[Miyuki]

5. Your Nexk of Kin.
I hope not.

[Spidey]

Not that it will cost you $95 dollars to deliver door step today.
Nope. I suspect it would cost me a LOT more.

[Hua Mulan]

I purposely do not want to include his last name in this email to avoid falsification of identity
This is a scammer writing an email. :)

[Kat]

CLÔTURE DES COMPTES 2011
Well, it's funny in French. They are organizing a seminar in 2011. :rolleyes:

[Nanook]

UNITED STATE OF AMERICA.
And they do hang together.

[Shadow]

i want to use this medium even though it might not be the best form of communication in matters like this due to the ever growing disbelief and illicit scams and fraud associated with it

:eek: Who would have thought that such things could happen!



i seem to have no choice than to make use of it, coupled with the fact that it might be just perfect due to the ability to redeem time.

I think we could all use a bit of time redemption :D

[Phantom]

Apparently, I am in possession of $15M fifteen million dollars
He seems unsure if he has this money or not.

[Nanook]

we have been informed that you are still dealing with the none officials in the bank
After all these years.....

[The Doctor]

you are bless.
with warm huge.
How did she know that about my....? You know...... what I mean.

[Garreg Ddu]

Multiple chuckles from this scammer - http://antifraudintl.org/showthread.php?t=65065


We have a par time job offer available for you that will not disturb your present work.

Spends a lot of time on the golf course, then?


Due to our competent records for treating customer demands and supplies, customers have referred us to other possible clients and we have been receiving orders from Northern America, Europe and Australia.

So glad their records are competent.....


And this is our proposal to you, we would like to offer you an opportunity to represent us and you will be a beneficiary of a whooping sum as cash flows in.

Hmmm, cough, cough,........

:doh:

[Sphinx]

my bronchial walls cannot support vocal stress and I have to undergo two surgeries.
Yeah but sound is generated in the vocal chords not in the lungs. :rolleyes:

[Sphinx]

ASSISTANCE TO INVET IN YOUR COUNTRY /COMPANY
Down the hall, on the left. The one that says "Ladies".

[Central Scrutinizer]

IMMEDIAT EMLOPMENT!!
Yeah I really want to work there.

[Phantom]

From Wesyern Union Office
What?!?!?

[Spanish Administrator]

Therefore, you'll contact Mr. Reuben Asiedu, a local farmer i met in Africa during one of our peace keeping missions,
Beyond a shadow of a doubt.

[Marie]

giving below with your personal details for immediate procession of worn fund.
It is very tired.

[Kat]

l don't want you to feel pathetic for me
Consider me bathetic.

[Sphinx]

A WORLD. IS ENOUGH FOR A WISE.
...a wise what?

[Kat]

i know that they are greedy and not ready to help the needy once,

Or even twice.

[Miyuki]

YOU CAN VIEW OUR PAST INTERATIONAL WINNERS
Between rationality?

[Nanook]

Your email have won a price with the western union company
I don't know what my price is but I am excited.

[Miyuki]

i am currently admitted in a privet hospital
She is in for a pruning.

[Kat]

Dear Paypal Costumer,
Nuff ced.

[Hua Mulan]

an Italian Business and Clergy Man who is dead
He served God and Mammon.

[Nanook]

YOUR URGENT REPLT IS NEEDED
One replt coming right up!


west Dublin United Kingdom,
Very, very West.

[The Doctor]

Blimey, Dublin is in the U.K.!

Am mixed race, my dad is a British while my mom a native of America
I suspect she does not know how silly that really sounds.

[Spidey]

THE GREAT BRITIAN !
That's what they tell me.

ACCEPT OUR WORM REGARDS
Whatever. Yeah these guys are native English speakers.

[Miyuki]

REASON WHY YOUR TRANSACTION HAS NOT BEEN SUCCESSFUL
Because it's a scam?

[Sphinx]

WE HERE BY ISSUED YOU OUR CODE OF CONDUCT
I'm glad none of these morons knows what an actual "code of conduct" is or what it means.

[Naruto]

Please treat with respect and turn down my offer by returning my mail.
I can't him down by ignoring him?

[Spidey]

Return-Path: <no-replay@lloydstsb.com>
Yeah let's not do that again.

[Cold War Kid]

but I just want to trust you the same way I trust myself and I believe we can do things together and I guarantee you that you will never regret knowing me.
I'll sleep easier tonight.

[De Master Yoda]

my purpose of contacting you is for you to help transfer this money to your
country before this people who killed my father will kill me too.

I can assure you there is no risk involved,


I am re assured that there is no risk involved, despite killers being after this money. :rolleyes:

[Hua Mulan]

But my husband Dr. Gilbert Moshood Chalouchi was shut when I announced my resignation.
Shut in a closet?

[Garreg Ddu]

We have not had one of these so far this year:


I have been diagnosed with prostate
and esophageal cancer that was discovered very late due to my laxity in
caring for my health. It has defiled all form of medicine and right now, I
have only about a few months to live according to medical experts

I think anything which goes near a scammer will be defiled beyond all redemption.

[Miyuki]

manager needed for a multi-million dollars real estate project
Multi-million dollars? I volunteer.

[Kat]

I have been in the sick bed ........suffering from Lukimiar for the past Three
A lot more than that.

[HateScammersWithAPASSION]

I will like to have a chart with you......I am still trying to figure out exactly what is a chart?

[The Doctor]

Celluloid!

The funds in question is presently contained in 2 trunk boxes deposited with a Financial Film in Europe

[Miyuki]

I know that you may find it strang to read my mail
No but I find it strang to read your spelling.

[De Master Yoda]

You can call me at bellow telephone number?

Does this mean I have to shout?


My father was among those GADDAFI killed as inside enemy, but before the fightI was taken by boot to Spain

Of course we all travel to Spain in a BOOT. Shoes are just too small!:D

[De Master Yoda]

Your name appeared among the beneficiaries who will receive a
part-paymen

Can I have a woman instead?:rolleyes:

[Dororo]

WIDOW SUFFERING CANCER ILLNESS OF THE LUG DESPITE THE FIBROID AND TUMOR WHICH DENIED ME A CHILD
I dont know where my lug is.

[basenji]

being dead is no reason not to answer your emails, it seems.


I AM VERY SORRY TO HEAR THAT YOU ARE KNOW MORE TO BE FOUND ON EARTH AND I DONT KNOW THAT THIS IS THE REASON WHY YOU HAVE NOT REPLY THE EMAILS I SENT TO YOU REGADING THE TRANSFERRING OF YOUR FUND.THIS IS MY PROMISE TO YOU THAT I AM GOING TO DO EVERYTHING WITHIN MY POWER TO MAKE SURE THAT YOUR FUND IS BE TRANSFER TO HIM AS YOUR NEXT OF KIN BENEFICIAL TO YOU MAY YOUR SOUL REST IN PERFECT PEACE AND MAY GOD GRATE YOU INTERNAL LIFE ON THE LAST DAY TO COME I AM VERY VERY SORRY.

[Kat]

How are you doing today? We are however delighted to inform you that After Critical Examinations of the whole process, We have come to a conclusion.GET BACK TO ME FOR MORE DETAILS
This is, I think, the stupidest scam mail I have ever received.

[Kat]

i want you to understand that there is no age when it c,race,colour and religion baromes to true love.
Baromes! That's what I've been missing!


Australian International Lottery Program
Victoria Island Lagos Nigeria.
I think that explains it all.

[Nanook]

You can call me at bellow telephone number?
Must be a long distance call.

[HateScammersWithAPASSION]

my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next three months due to cancer problem.

[The Doctor]

THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT TO IGNORE.‏
More important than what?

[Hua Mulan]

I am Mrs. Margaret Omalley deaf from United Kingdom,
It is noisy in London?

[Garreg Ddu]

I have a huge cash deposit of fiftheen Million dollars with a finance House abroad.

Oh dear! Another idiot at Khalid Ibrahim (http://antifraudintl.org/showthread.php?t=66833). And he has "defiled" medical treatment too.

[Gentle Giant]

!! ARE YOU REALLY DEAD OR WELL ALIVE?
Tending towards the latter.

[Naruto]

YOUR EMAIL WAS SELECTED
I don't know why.

[Kat]

I am suffering from a long time cancer of the blood
It's called leukemia, dimbulb.

[Garreg Ddu]

http://antifraudintl.org/showpost.php?p=191144&postcount=3


This massage is coming to you from Halifax Internet
Banking System



:10900: Things are looking up in the banking world. :roflmao:

[Spidey]

he said we should stop contacting you as you had car accident and on sick bed
I prefer to have my car accidents on a surface street.

[Quark]

the doctor says that i have just two days to leave
Better get packing.

[Central Scrutinizer]

First of all, I do not know if I am talking to the right person, But I will like you to confirm if you are the owner of this email ID.
How about 2 pieces of picture ID? :rolleyes:

[Hua Mulan]

Copyright December 2012
What? Already?

[Sphinx]

I got your contact information from a reputable business/professional directory of your country which gives me assurance of your legibility as a person.
Reading me.

^
Over

and

--------> out.

[basenji]

Note that you?

No, but I can see the yew and the ewe clearly from where I stand.

[Gentle Giant]

For I have been on veils as a Muslim since he married me, which is our religious rights, nobody has seen my face or known me except my children and himself and I thank Allah for this. I cannot be identified by anybody in the world now that things have gone bad.
And unfortunately, most of the scammers can't be identified either.

[Naruto]

NOTE; YOU MUST BE VERY OUTSTANDING TO CLAIM THE MONEY
YOU MUST KNOW HOW TO READ AND WRIGHT
I am outstanding and I can write!

[Jessica]

the Reverend James in EVANGELICAL LURTHRAN CHURCH OF GOD
We have a big new Lurthran church down the street. :rolleyes:

[Quark]

From FreeLotto Uk Pormo
Hey! No pormography here!

[Nanook]

Be advice.
I'd rather be fed.

[Central Scrutinizer]

UNITEDKINDOM
That family that sticks together....

[Miyuki]

ALL IS NOT OVER YET
That does not sound very good. And since this is an internet scammer then your problem only begins if you answer his email.

[Cold War Kid]

Presently, I am suffering from long time cancer of the brain.
And yet I can write emails!

[Kat]

....an from Isreal.
No, Isfake. :rolleyes:

Do these idiots even know about spell check?

[basenji]

Trust is both an emotional and logical act. Emotionally, it is where you expose your vulnerabilities to people, but believing they will not take advantage of your openness. Logically, it is where you have assessed the probabilities of gain and loss, calculating expected utility based on hard performance data, and concluded that the person in question will behave in a predictable manner. In practice, trust is a bit of both. I trust you because I have experienced your trustworthiness by merely believing in what I have said, even when you have not seen me, and because I have faith in human nature.

I like that bit about "I trust you because I have experienced your trustworthiness by merely believing in what I have said".

[Jessica]

Weight of the items: 41kg.
That's my platinum ATM card. Or maybe it's gold.

[Gentle Giant]

Nah the card is virtually weightless. It's all the African cloths it's wrapped in that ads all that weight.

[Central Scrutinizer]

You Just Won £1.5GBP
Such a windfall! I hope I don't spend it all at one time.

[Spidey]

This is borne out of our beleif in the non-stable and sporous political nature of this sub-region.
Politics are pretty sporous around here too.

[Gentle Giant]

I will never cheat anybody until I die.
After that all bets are off. Or maybe she is planning on cheating Death.

[Jessica]

Oh this guy is just a riot.

a deceased foreigner .... who died with his wife and their only daughter on February 16,1998 in a plane crash.

Their death occured Naturally.
Naturally. :rolleyes:

[rominarob]

And I have a deal of £8.700,000 Pounds Sterling to
discuss with you.

[Nanook]

this bank discovered that you have been dealing with some bad eggs officials whom SCAMED some money from you
I hate those scamers.

[Shadow]

I wonder if "bad eggs officials" is a recognised term in the banking industry. :roflmao:

[Kat]

I don't think so but it is an approved term in the baking industry.

[basenji]

Especially in the offshore baking industry.

[Spidey]

i will not survive to live longer because of the damage infection operation wish i did recently
So maybe home surgery isn't a such a good idea after all?

[Miyuki]

21rd May 2012
It's not on my calender.


I guarantee that this will be executed under legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any branch of the law.
Legislative, executive, or judicial.

[TonyScott]

Lol... This thread really made my day. Perhaps 21rd is in the norminated doorstep of the deceased foreigner. Hope to see more of this. :)

[basenji]

URGENT YOU PACKAGE WANT TO LIVE THIS COUNTRY

I'm not sure, but maybe "you package" is intended as an insult? In that case I don't want to live this country.

[Sphinx]

DELAY WILL NOT BE ENTERTAINED

Nor will it be fed.

[Naruto]

ready the message below
But there is no message.

[Dororo]

To avoid the riot of the law on your and your entire family, we have been pleased to allow you secure the document from the High Court of Justice
The riot of the law seems very bad.

[Kat]

Apply now by sending us your name and needed loan sum.

No, no. I need you to send ME the loan.

[Gentle Giant]

I WANT YOU TO TRY YOUR BEST AND SEND THE FEE ONCE YOU RECEIVE THIS EMAIL SO EVERYTHING CAN COME TO AN END.
That sounds so end-of-the-worldy.

[Kat]

Geneva has been relocated.

Palais des Nations CH-1211 Geneva 10
England.

[snoman_03]

PLEASE ACCEPT MY POLOGY

I am writing in regards to
multi-million-dollar business proposal which we never concluded. I am using this
opportunity to inform you that the business has been concluded with another
person who financed it to a logical conclusion.

Thanks for your great effort to our unfinished transfer of fund into your
account due to some financial reason. But I want to inform you that I have
successfully transferred the fund out of the Bank to my new partner account in
united kingdom who assisted me in this great venture.:confused:

Logical??

[snoman_03]

CONGRATULATIONS,YOU HAVE WON $900,000USD ONLY.

Only $900,000?? Crap...I was really hoping I would win way more than that...

[snoman_03]

I am Miss Viora Karime, i really want to contact you so that we can have effective communication as to keeping our fingers straight to know each other and for us to share some studies .

effective communication fail...

[Kat]

I am suffering from cancer of the heart

I don't think it works like that.


a seasoned Banker in Malaysia
With basil and thyme!

[Kat]

the new YAHOO! BETA MAILS which all YAHOO! Users are required to switch unto.

Yea, verily.

[Jessica]

I am from Libya in North Africa, 5.3ft tall,fear in complexion single,

5 foot 3 is tall? And there is fear in her complexion?

[The Doctor]

As soon as I receive your reply I shall use the little money I have for my Drugs
I'm afraid I can't condone such behaviour.

[De Master Yoda]

Good Day

I am Mr Ali Buba, Bill and Exchange manager, Bank of Africa Ouagadougou Burkina Faso.

ALI BUBA AND THE FORTY THIEVES? :D

[Hua Mulan]

I hope you understand how many times this message has been sent to you.
Yes I understand.

[Hua Mulan]

What language is it from?

Thanks again for the attention given to me in cartoon fair I am in press.

[Central Scrutinizer]

so that we can be sure of doing the right thing due to the hug amount of money involved.
Hugs are free at our house.

[Kat]

Best Regrads

Thnak yuo.

[Sapphire's Strike]

Kindly relate back to me your interest after goint thought it.

:confused:

[Kat]

@ SS, I think it's like that move, "A Scammer Runs Through It".


I am Dr. Chin Chong
The names, the names. :rolleyes:

[Sphinx]

To: name not available
Wow. It's amazing how much they know about me. :rolleyes:

[Sphinx]

Prof. Prof. Wilson Nata
So you know he's really important.

[Kat]

We are delighted to inform you of your prize release on the 1st August 2012 from the Australian International Lottery program
And then....

all winnings MUST be claimed on or before the 9th July 2012
So....claim your winnings before the results are announced! This almost sounds like NBC

[De Master Yoda]

And then....

So....claim your winnings before the results are announced! This almost sounds like NBC


:roflmao::roflmao:


I wonder how some of them manage to get dressed in the mornings.:rolleyes:

[Phantom]

We notify you about your price Seven(7)Crores Six(6)lacs Rupees from C0CA'C0LA-L0T0
So Coca Cola is the highest bidder?

[Cold War Kid]

10. ID CARD OR DRIVERING LASES......
Or something like that.

[De Master Yoda]

My names is Albert Bond, with National Security Agency/Central Security Service (NSA/CSS).

Now JAMES bond I would have believed.:cool:

[Phantom]

peace be onup you
Where???

[Nanook]

REMEMBER IF WE DO NOT HERE FROM YOU WITHIN SEVEN WORKING DAYS
....then it's probably too late.

[Spidey]

the immediate remittance of your life Transorming Offer
I feel transormed already.

[Shadow]

Do you want to be a real state realtor?

No, I want to be an unreal state realtor, just like them.


At this stage our business is extending its presence in the US and we are planning to recruit sensible and outgoing people who are willing to be a part of a major multinational realty firm.

We consider that you are the best fit for this job opening and that?s why we would like to offer you a chance to become a Local Real Estate agent.

:confused: So, even though I live 15,000 Km from the USA, I'm still the best fit for a job selling US local real estate? Geez, I must be good! (And modest).

[Hua Mulan]

I AM NOW A NEW CHRISTIAN BUT FROM ALL INDICATION,MY CONDITIONS IS REALLY DETERIORATING AND IT IS QUITE CONVERT,
Perhaps she should go back to her old religion.

[Lone Wolf]

Perhaps she should go back to her old religion. :roflmao::roflmao:

[Kat]

I will appreciate your quick response.
Then maybe you should send me some text.


This is to notify you about the status of your fund presently in my desk.
It's right....here.....in this...... drawer. Well it was here earlier. Oops.

[TexasBlackRose]

Wow! Just goes to show. Native of America ... ahaahahhahaha
Which America and what kind of Native?
:rolleyes:

[Naruto]

I am from Rwanda

I managed to make my way to a near by country SENEGAL
2,500 km is nearby?

[Central Scrutinizer]

We presumed you are law abiding and would not scuffle with the authorities in and outside America.
Nah, I got a lawyer for that.

[Godzilla]

I am Mrs. Janet Obeid; ..... my Doctor informed me that I will die in 1 month time due to my Complicated health issues (PROSTRATE CANCER).
Maybe it makes her tired?

[TexasBlackRose]

I am Mrs. Janet Obeid; ..... my Doctor informed me that I will die in 1 month time due to my Complicated health issues (PROSTRATE CANCER).

:p Wow! Must be a Hermaphridite! :rolleyes:

[Nanook]

Once again note that the actual Courier Retail Price: $320.99 Your Price (Because of our contract signed): is now $300.95 ( $170.00 Savings!).
I guess this guy hasn't learned how to add and subtract 3 digit numbers with a decimal yet. Maybe he'll learn that next year.

[The Doctor]

since I am the third party to this deal and also the lagal brain behind this deal
I think that spells trouble.

[Kat]

ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECEIPT
Yes, that's a receipt.

[Sphinx]

but I want you to understand something. It is only an outsider to the banking world who finds the internal politics of the banking world aberrational.
An eerie statement of truth from an internet criminal....

[Naruto]

Subject: MASSAGE FROM JASMIN ROSE
That sounds good!

[De Master Yoda]

CONGRATULATION !!!YOU HAS WON‏
u b shure dat i dun wun? :cool:

[De Master Yoda]

Dear Sir/madam,

I am sick and rich

Yes you are sick but not rich. :rolleyes:


I'm a Singaporean and a seasoned Banker
Lots of herbs and spices I take it. :D

[Prints Of Darkness]

BE CAREFUL OF THE HUDLOOMS
They're still out there.

[Sphinx]

you are here by giving 24 Hours to get back to us for a pro pal explanation of the whole issue and how it happened
The pro pal explanation is that I answered an email I shouldn't have.

[Hua Mulan]

London Olumpic Committee
Oh I missed the Olumpics. :(


But what disturbs me most now is stroke.
Maybe she is a bad golfer.

[Godzilla]

Subject: WHY I HAVE NOT HEARD FROM YOU
Tell me more.

[Hua Mulan]

Get the loan you eed today for your business
What about the spelling I need?

[The Doctor]

Your Attension Please.
Gesundheit.

[Jinnosuke]

AN AFFIDAVIT OF OAT AND SUPORT
he is ridiculous.

[The Doctor]

No, he's just horsing around.

[De Master Yoda]

You are the only person i have informed about this transaction,please keep
it confidential and get back to me as i wait to hear from you.

Regards,
Alex Haruna(esq).

WOW. Lucky ME!

[Nanook]

PAYMENT INSTRUCTION AS NEXT OF KIN TO YOUR LATE SISTER
And I wasn't even notified that my sister was deceased. It will be a shock to her too I'm sure.

[De Master Yoda]

And I wasn't even notified that my sister was deceased. It will be a shock to her too I'm sure. :roflmao::roflmao:

[Sphinx]

I have being fighting tooth and nails to make sure you receive this fund but you have been thinking that I am there to swindle you.
The thought had crossed my mind. :rolleyes:

[Hua Mulan]

We have this 1st september day of August. 2012 received a payment credit
And he works in a bank.

[De Master Yoda]

MY NAME IS MRS. ELIZABETH KUNDE THE WIFE OF LATE BATURE KUNDE,


YOURS FAITHFULLY,
MRS. ELIZERBERTH KUNDE

It is a bit off when one forgets how to spell ones own name. :rolleyes:

[Prints Of Darkness]

Note:Am a man of God that is why i was appointed to help you do these,please comply as soon as possible or call me if you can
That makes me feel warm and fuzzy. Wait a second. I'm already fuzzy.

[Prints Of Darkness]

On the side of a hill

Contract Review Commission Headwaters

[Miyuki]

AND DURING THE PERIOD OF OUR MARRIAGE WE WERE UNABLE TO PRODUCE A CHILD WHICH THE BIBLE IS AGAINST.
I'm pretty sure it doesn't say that.

[De Master Yoda]

PLEASE THIS MESSAGE IS NOT SPAM AND CAN I TRUST YOU.
Sure, it sounds legit to me.:rolleyes:

[De Master Yoda]

My contacting you is to know if you can assist guard me handle investment of asset

Can you run that by me again?

[Jessica]

have assured you a time without number that this is genuine and legitimate. I swear If I fail to release your payment after you send the $45.00 as I promise don't count on me again, I cannot fail you, I promise you, don't fear as soon as you send the $45.00 today please leave the rest to me and see if I am lie to you because I can not use my life swear because of $35.00, how can I swear against my life because of this small amount? it is to show you that I am telling you the truth.
There might be a logical argument in there somewhere. Let me know if anyone finds it.

[De Master Yoda]

after you send the $45.00

I can not use my life swear because of $35.00,

As he is so diligent with the amount I am sure you can trust him. :D

[Kat]

I think there's a math problem, and yahoo-yahoo boyz would lie to God Almighty if they had to.

[Nanook]

Your Email has Expired
Another tragic, senseless email death.

[De Master Yoda]

Hello,

We are interested in buying your product

can you click on the link below to view the exact

product we need by logging your email address and password

SHUUURE! :rolleyes:

[The Doctor]

This transaction is 100% risky free.
It's hard to believe they still do this.

[Hua Mulan]

VACANSE IN MARRIOTT RESORLT HOTEL UK
I think so.

[Jessica]

I dare anyone to find a cheaper scammer than this one.

The moment i receive the payment of $23 then, i will release your first payment informations of $1800 to you and you will pick up the money and i will send you Another money.
Go on. I dare you.

[De Master Yoda]

ATTENTION PLEASE BENEFITY OF YOUR HONESTY
They really are priceless. :rolleyes:

[Naruto]

The Agent has arrived in ORLANDO FLORIDA with package Code DHL99-DX-765-866
And I am in Japan.

[Kat]

Omg!

POST SCROTUM: You have to keep everything secret
Poor Burkinabe yahoo boyz :rolleyes:

[Sphinx]

POST SCROTUM: You have to keep everything secret
Baby, your balls are safe in my hands. :SuN009:

[Nanook]

we cannot quote its content to you via email for Privacy we understand that content of your package itself is a Bank Draft worth of $800,000.00 USD.
So what did you just "quote"?



I urge your pardon for the unaware soliciting and more so impel that you should not classify this reciprocal proposition as (internet hoaxes) and may it never sound skeptical to your human faculty of thinking.
I admit it- I was skeptical at first.

[Sphinx]

Therefore,every soldier who either is eligible for leave or not eligible for leave are not authorized for leave by themselves.
Maybe they could get a note from their mothers?

[Hua Mulan]

Subject: GET BACK TO US BEFORE THINGS GO WRONG
Is it a threat or a promise?

[De Master Yoda]

THE FORMER WESTERN UNION
MANAGER. HAS BEEN SACKED OUT SINCE LAST WEEK DUE TO HIS ILLEGAL WORK UNGODLY ACT :rolleyes:

It must have tired him out.

[De Master Yoda]

I have an obscured business suggestion for you. :rolleyes:

[Sphinx]

Don. John Wax
I know his cousin, Surfboard Wax!

[Naruto]

The IMF and United Nations authority FINANCIAL SUPPER VISSION Team instructed us
I'm hungry!

[Jessica]

my father's kindred will not take over what belongs to my father and our family because I’m a female according to our African tradition.
...according to our African tradition.... hmm, that's how it happens. :rolleyes:

[SpamSandwich]

...we will not appreciate any calls for now due to this transaction is monitored on Email Verification Center only, you'll receive a respond immediately.

Sincerely,
PayPal

No phone calls? Email only? Sounds legit. :rolleyes:

[basenji]

I know his cousin, Surfboard Wax!

I know their distant relative in Budapest, Hungarian Moustache Wax.

[Central Scrutinizer]

And his uncle, Floor Wax.

[The Doctor]

Yours Daying Sisther
She only comes out with the sunshine?

[Kat]

Subject: Congratulations : Congratulations ; Open An Attached File:
Open an attached file....maybe it's multiple choice. :confused:

[Spidey]

Subject: PLESEA VIEW ATTACHED MASSAGE
Must be a virtual massage.

[Hua Mulan]

檔案: OPEN AND VIE
Vie for what?

[Sphinx]

EAR CUSTOMER,
No, I'm more of an eye customer.

[The Doctor]

You Need A Job In Qatar Apply Now
Actually I could do with one in Kent although Surrey would be fine.

[Cold War Kid]

From http://antifraudintl.org/showthread.php?71351


Warning---Do not go to western union store for the payment yet, till your payment file is RE-NEWED and RE-CONFIRMED here as instructted Or else you make yourself a fool and THIEF before your western union agent.
I think he means I'm a mugu.

[De Master Yoda]

I am Dr.Richard Bernard,a Business merchandise,and a UK-Citizen

WOW. I have never met a Business merchandise before.:rolleyes:

[Hua Mulan]

You scarlet lips,ebong hair,well biult physique charming face,sedycing eyes are of great intersest to me.In fact,your entirety commands my variety of interest
Oh really?

[Kat]

My hair is kind of ebongy today but it's just a bad hair morning.


You are advised to contact Mrs. Lee Ann Som who is in charge of your payment through our paying center in Africa as she is our representative in Kingdom of Africa Nigeria,
Kingdom! It's a Kingdom. Forget all that stuff about Federal Republic of Nigeria.

[Sphinx]

general director western union heard office benin republic
Bovine!!

[Kat]

DON FRANSCISCO MUСOZ
What a snot!

[De Master Yoda]

- Selected candidates are expected to sit for and
passed the CEI exam and be certified by MOM.

Oh thats ok then, I am sure my Mom will certify me, I have known her all my life. :rolleyes:

[Spanish Administrator]

Not much better than Kat's scammer:

Dr. John Eczema

[Jessica]

ACCEPT OUR WORM REGARDS
Doesn't that just make you feel all fuzzy and squishy?

[Quark]

The below are compulsory and necessary.
...and really important.

[Kat]

I am glad to know you, but God knows you better and he knows why he has directed me to you at this point in time so do not be afraid.
I feel completely assured. I don't know why I would ever doubt "her".

[Sphinx]

Our duties is to fight against scam and terrorism.
...and to fight against basic rules of grammar.

[Kat]

Sorry if you received this letter in your spam, Due to recent connection error here in the country
That's why it went into my spam box. There's a connection problem in Burkina Faso. :rolleyes:

[Cold War Kid]

I am writing this letter in confidence believing that if it is the wish of God for you to help me and my family, God almighty will bless and reward you abundantly and you would never re-great this.
That makes me feel so much better.

[The Doctor]

Open 7 days
Regrettably, closed after that.



Do not reply back to this email from its source, it is sent via computer virtual assistance for response will not be read my Human but computer" contact the fiduciary agents by tell fax or email provided above
I don't think I'm supposed to respond.

[Sphinx]

Before Your Partner traveled to Paraguay she drops a massage for you.
So I should do...what?



we seek Serious minded and honest prospective applicants (who are under represented) to apply.
The serious and honest are under-represented among the staff at this hotel? Sounds like a place I really want to stay.

[De Master Yoda]

I may not know how you feel about this message but please I have no intentions to inconvenience
your day or of exposing myself

OH Dear me, just TOO many replies I can think of. :roflmao::nono:

[Godzilla]

Note: The money is coming on 2 security proof boxes.
So I cant open it?

[Wonderwoman]

quickly confirm to this humble office if you
have received your funds transfer

The United Nations is a humble office??? OK, thanks for the information!! :cool:

[The Doctor]

I am an American and you should be rest assured that I cannot be involved in scam
It seems she has never heard of Bernie Madoff. http://antifraudintl.org/showthread.php?21980

[Sphinx]

BECAUSE AS AN AMBASSADOR TO NIGERIA, I AM A US GOVERNMENT AGENT AND I HAVE THE VETO POWER TO GO THROUGH CUSTOMS.
The veto power? :rolleyes:

[Gentle Giant]

Below is your first install mental payment that was sent today for you to pick up:
Yes, I think someone is mental but it isn't me.

[De Master Yoda]

We wish to congratulate you once again on this note,

A Semiquaver? :rolleyes:

[Naruto]

THIS IS NOT A SALE, SOLICITATION OR SPAM.
It is true. Its a scam.