Scammers say the funniest things, in 2009

[Gentle Giant]

Yes, the scammer/criminals continue to entertain us and 2009 looks set to be another year full of scammer/criminal humor. Oh if they only knew how stupid they sound. :rolleyes:
We look forward to your maximum cooperation in anticipation.

I will do my best to anticipate to the max.

[Naruto]

This letter is from World Fund Discovery Management And Payment Bureau newly invented by the World Financial Service Authority United States Of America/ United Kingdom
Yes the scammer just invented it.

[Kittychan]

Microword Corporations
It is small thinking, maybe.

[Dororo]

I also indulge you not to make undo use of the information given to you
I don't understand him.

[Cold War Kid]

When contacting the claims agent you should include the following if you must get a response from him
Well if I must, I must.

[Gentle Giant]

This is great. From a lottery scam:
our international corporate office complex in The NETHERLAND
Evidently there is only one of them now.
congratulations from all our staffs on your consoltation prize winning
Consoltation? Does that make me a consoltant?

[Spidey]

M.J INVESTMENT COMPANY,is the only loan company that can offer you a loan at this extinct low rate that you need
An extinct rate....I guess that would be a pretty low rate of interest.

[Cold War Kid]

only Twentypeople will be merge for winnings.
I don't know if that's a threat or not but it sure sounds painful.

[Kit Kat]

Please don?t reply to this.
Okay, I will resist the urge to reply. :rolleyes:

[Spidey]

the accident was so fatal
I guess that is really fatal. More fatal than just fatal. So fatal.

[scammerslayer]

Dr Michael George Is Not A Scam Artist:pound: :pound: :pound:

Joke of the week by yahoo boi of the week Rickytan .:D

[Kit Kat]

rickytan is now an ex-member of this site. And nothing funny about some dumb yahoo boi. They should read the rules.

[Dororo]

it accumulate a demur rage
it is angry. :)

[Gentle Giant]

Failing to adhere to this instruction will force me to cancel this payment sine-die.
A little education can go a long way. Not far enough in this case. :rolleyes:

[Miyuki]

For your fund paper work: Kindly reach under sign:
There was no sign to reach under. :rolleyes:

[Godzilla]

Therefore, do not hesitte to revert back to me,
If i would revert to scammer I would kill myself.

[Kit Kat]

DIED IN IRAQ BY U.S.A BOOMP EXPLOSION IN 2006.
I've heard that is really painful. :rolleyes:

[Gentle Giant]

The deceased account has been declared dormant since 2006
I was not aware that an account could be deceased but if it is deceased then declaring it dormant would seem like a good idea. :rolleyes:

[Dick H Box]

I've got tears in my eyes! When its all in a row like that, its pitiable. Are their any stand-ups who use this stuff?

[basenji]

I was not aware that an account could be deceased but if it is deceased then declaring it dormant would seem like a good idea. :rolleyes:

Dormant, I like the sound of that word: "I am married to an Englishman, now dormant."

[De Master Yoda]

From a NOKIA lottery scam.

This promo is the 1st of its kind and we intend to sensitize the public.

HMMM, I am not too sure I want to be "sensitized" it may hurt? :D

[basenji]

HMMM, I am not too sure I want to be "sensitized" it may hurt? :D

It may, because it means to make someone or something sensitive or even hypersensitive. There is a noun as well, sensitizer.

[Sphinx]

I've got tears in my eyes! When its all in a row like that, its pitiable. Are their any stand-ups who use this stuff?
Jeez, don't read the other threads. I think only Steve Martin could do justice to this stuff.

That this is not one of those Nigerian/African scams that all they are after is to ripe you off your moneyI always hate ripe-offs. :rolleyes:

[Godzilla]

I shall feed you with further modalities as soon as I hear from you.
It does not sound like good food.

[Kit Kat]

Originally Posted by De Master Yoda View Post
HMMM, I am not too sure I want to be "sensitized" it may hurt?
How do you feel about needles, Yoda?

[Kit Kat]

I told Bank That I know some one as the ownership of the next of king.

:hail: We are not worthy!

[De Master Yoda]

How do you feel about needles, Yoda?

WE have an agreement, we leave each other alone!:qqb005:

Sometimes the nurses have not heard of this, so go ahead anyway. EEK

[Spanish Administrator]

i have been surfering from liver cancer desea
I guess she should stay out of the water.

[Goretex The Young Wizard]

I guess she should stay out of the water.

Haha..They just keep getting better! Great thread.

[Spanish Administrator]

We awaits for your immediate responds.
Aarrh. Aarrh. Shiver me timbers.

[Gentle Giant]

In the subject line of an email.
Conform immediately
Or else...what?

[Kit Kat]

On a very good day, Welcome this letter in the name of God
On a bad day, well, I think we can guess who it comes from. :rolleyes:

[Miyuki]

What about a bad hair day? Who sends those emails?

[vanazzi]

Yes, the scammer/criminals continue to entertain us and 2009 looks set to be another year full of scammer/criminal humor. Oh if they only knew how stupid they sound. :rolleyes:

I will do my best to anticipate to the max.


Has anyone completed any forms and returned them to this guy? what was the result?

[Central Scrutinizer]

Why would you write to a criminal? The result would be that he wants to steal your money. That's what scammers do.

[Spidey]

Yourself, attached to Ticket number 356-00098-3211-222
Yee-oowwww!

[Gentle Giant]

FORGIVE MY INDIGNATION IF THIS MESSAGE COMES TO YOU AS A SURPRISE
Well okay, but don't push your luck.

[sou_eu]

In chat:

matildakloku: i dont know nothing about compuetr>>just to chat and send emails>


Like all good lads...:rolleyes:

sou_eu

[yullan]

I am trying to be very careful about your message

Yes, be careful. Be very careful.

[theFAILURE]

I was making the fire for the shot when the police run by my photo spot and ask what a flame was for. they were giving me such a time and was telling me not to come by this side anymore because they have many excuses about me and think that i am sick. someone must have been spying on me these days and saw some of the shots. You do not know how long i had to stand there an explain things to them and one of them made me give them money just so not to go to jail. I can not use this spot any more so i will find a new one toight or by gods grace i will do it early as i can tomorrow. they were even taken my picture id in possesion and said if they saw me again they will arrest me for street nudes

[De Master Yoda]

and said if they saw me again they will arrest me for street nudes LOVE IT!!!:hail: :pound: :pound:

[Nanook]

Subject: Looking For Executor of Last Will and Testament.
It wasn't me. I don't know anyone with a nickname of Last Will and I don't know anyone named Testament. And I have witnesses.

[Kit Kat]

The evil planes are back:
Be careful with their e-mails so that your parcel will not be in danger with their evil planes.

[Goretex The Young Wizard]

Loltastic.Ahh scammers,we just love to hate you! :cool:

[Quark]

while lying on a hospital bed due to pancreatic chronic cancer of the lungs which has also affected my brain
Mark that one down as serious.

[Jinnosuke]

CALL MR. OSIME ARO +229-931-48-769 FOR ANY PROBLEM
For any problem? It's snowing so...

[Jessica]

Warning:Stop all further dealings henceforth.
I guess this means do not continue to deal with the scammer. Or don't even start.

[Marie]

May the peas of the loid be with you
I like green peas too.

[basenji]

What's a loid?

[Central Scrutinizer]

The Bible made us to understand that blessed is the hand that grivets.
That's the problem. I have been giving, I haven't been griveting. No wonder I seem to be cursed.

[Godzilla]

So your welfare is my consine.
Sine? Cosine?

[basenji]

I haven't been griveting.

Would be a bit difficult, the grivet (Colobus aethiops) is an Old World monkey.

[Dick H Box]

I grivet, you vervet

[Dororo]

I traveled out of the country for a short Course and I will not come back till next year.
It's long time I think. :)

[basenji]

I think it says something about learning outcome.

[De Master Yoda]

From a supposed "barrister"

Firstly, let me correct the impression that this is a legitimate transaction. :D

[Cold War Kid]

^ If people didn't think you were a scammer after they read that, the above would be a great sig line.

[Kit Kat]

I found the deposited fund amounted $30M owned by a disease customer
Eewww...gross.

[Kit Kat]

I am miss linda oily the only child of late Chief Joseph oily
She sounds very slippery to me.

[Bill4]

My first pen pal after a year plus when I indicated that he might not be truly honest with my character;
"i will never do a cilly thing like that to you.I beg you in the name of Gos Almighty "

And my new "girlfriend" explaining how she came to be all by herself on this world " I do not have any parent and was trained by the motherless."

But she still has feelings for me "Having secreted lots of love with no where to put it"

They are so sweet when you let them :D

[Ivana]

Lol -- I had one lad who I dropped after getting justifiably pissed off at him.

He told me that his father and mother died, so it was just him and his brother (who had malaria). Then cheerily told me he just got off the phone with his mother.

Someone else I know is in contact with him - to them his father & brother died, so it's just him and his sister and mother - his sister & mom has malaria and his mom is dying of breast cancer.

Why they can't stick to one modality is beyond me.

This is the same one who told me his aunt had an orphanage (turned out it was just her 2 kids) and wanted me to collect money for them.

He tried to get me to open a bank account to be wired money from another bank.

He wanted me to take checks, and send him the money WU...

Pretty much anything in the book he threw at me and when it wouldn't stick he'd try something else.

Was pretty funny - had me laughing for weeks

[Dororo]

in the past we have had problem with hood lumps who exploit our name
Maybe they need new cars.

[Le Pink panther]

my real name is janee willams ! i am the only daughter of my father
with my little kid sister becky !!
:D Both only daughters?

[Sphinx]

Ensure you contact Mr. Micheal Solomon who is our claims officer in Africa. (Nigeria) for more information and can understand only english languages.
Darn. No wonder it's so hard! There's more than one of them. :rofl:
Misconduct and non adherence to instructions leads to prize tarmination
The Tarminator!

[Trickster]

Poor Lolo.....
Dear just try to reply my mails i have been waiting online to hear from you since then .. can you please let me know how best you are doing for me ?
my love you are just killing me slowly you mad me miss you so much that i can not talk of..
try to let me hear from you ... i know it wasn't your fault to send money to that process .......:D

[Kit Kat]

PLEASE I NEED YOUR HELP,AS I AM IN THE SICK BED
Maybe he should find a healthier place to sleep.

[Garreg Ddu]

Yours Faithfully,
Mr. Larry Adams
[fedex-delivery03@hotmail.com]
(The Dispatched Officer).
FedEx Online Team Management © 1995 - 2008 FedEx.


Wonderful, he has been "Dispatched", one hopes to live with his ancestors....

[Nanook]

The ATM Card Value is 6.8 MILLION USD (Sex million, eight hundred thousand dollars).
Freudian slip?

[Miyuki]

MY INFORMATION WILL BE GIVEN TO YOU IN MY NEXT MASSAGE
Oooh good. I love massages. :)

[Ivana]

I told an "in the UK" scammer that I placed my order with a different company - they obviously were ready for my money...they lost all english speaking ability ;-)

hello,but oyu have to talk to us if really what we offer you are not ok with you because we have all information of your order ready just for you to make the payment and send them down to you................

you just to do some thing about this because your order are already in procceed just for you to make the trancastion and we ship to you...........

[Dororo]

who died on May 2nd, 2004 in a gassy car accident
Carbon monoxide I think.

[Sphinx]

I am Halem Mary from London dying of CANCER Of the LUNGS out of Ignorance
Where is THAT!?!?!

[Miyuki]

The hoodlums will continue coming up with expenses and thereby requesting for money from you until you go Bankrupt.
From the horse's mouth.

[Garreg Ddu]

I always wondered what they did behind those frosted glass screens :rolleyes:
This financial institute kown as World Bank Group has Mandated the Chattered Bank via the desk of DR, ASHOK SODJE

[callan]

I need help financially not psychiatrically. Henry John

[Spidey]

we offer a very attractive remuneration package & good carrier prospects.
How are they going to carry us?

[yullan]

Shing li (of info@shingmail.net no less) says the following:
…I decided to contact you for a mutual partnership proposal whort that will be of immense benefit…
Wow! A beneficial whort!

[Look4aKey-GoLucky]

I have these 3, all were written in the same eMail, {I did not capitalise words. He did}, from john lescue
I think they are chinese who want to be Lescued...:D
Ké. Here they are:

I the son and my sisters miss emilian, the DOUTHTER of Sir, and David LESCUE of Zimbabwe.
"Fatherhood, is an act of faith." Seems that Dad has some CONfusing doubts about his daughter.
A miss-tery remains . Who's the other sister ?
...the tension was so much on him he was rushed to a SPECIALIT HOSPITAL in South Africa.
Wow. They have Hospital with Special Lighting equipment ?
When you reply we will tell you things you need to do.
Noooo. Don't tell me things I need to do. My list is Full as it is.

[Cold War Kid]

AND ALSO TO TAKE MY WIFE ABROAD FOR TREATMENT OF LIVE DAMAGE.
Is that like Live Aid?

[Spanish Administrator]

DO YOU SPEAK OR WRITE ENGLISH?__________ _____ ____

Abso-bloody-lutely not!

[Kit Kat]

FILL FOR CLAIMS
I think he means file for claims. It's a lottery scam.

[Jinnosuke]

The Bible made us understand that blessed is the hand that griveth.
Now it is griveth not grivet like Central Scrutinizer has.

[Miyuki]

one Mrs. Eva Marie Hanawahine Aguon an American Nationalist attached to your payment file
I hate it when they do that. It is so painful. :rolleyes:

[Gentle Giant]

IT IS INSTRUCTIVE THAT YOU ARE ADVISED THAT WE ARE GOVERNED BY CENTRAL BANKING STATUTES. PLEASE BE KIND TO ADVISE HOW YOU CAN ACCESS THE SAID CARD SINCE SHIPMENT CAN ONLY BE EFFECTED UPON SATISFACORY EXECUTION OF PAYMENT WITH THE FEDERAL INLAND REVENUE SERVICE (FIRS) AND CORRESPONDING RECEIPT OF TRANSACTION AVAILED THIS OFFICE. WITH OUR PARTNER SHIPING AGENTS, WE ARE WILLING TO GUARANTEE THIS SHIPMENT TO IRREVOCABLY.
And this guy has a Ph.D. :rolleyes:

[Kit Kat]

PLEASE FINE A PLACE IN YOUR HAERT TO HELP ME OUT.
I'll check my haert and see if I have one. Then I will fine it.

[Cold War Kid]

Since the deceased was unable to run this account since his death.
Death really limits your options. :rolleyes:

[Ivana]

i dont know why anytime it comes to helping me out you always have problems?

probably because I'm always telling you about my mundane life and you always cut in with your next trouble...

[Scam Buster]

FOUND OUT THAT WHY YOU HAVE NOT RECEIVED YOUR PAYMENT IS BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOT FULFILLED THE OBLIGATIONS GIVEN TO YOU

"Who me"

WE HAVE BEEN INFORMED THAT YOU ARE STILL DEALING WITH THE NONE OFFICIALS IN THE BANK

"What me"

WE WISH TO ADVISE YOU THAT SUCH AN ILLEGAL ACT LIKE THIS HAS TO STOP THAT IS THE LATEST INSTRUCTION FROM MR.PRESIDENT,MUSA YAR'ADUA (GCFR) FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA.AND EFCC NIGERIA. AS WELL THE INTERPOL AND FBI.

"Really scared and shak'n' in me boots"

SINCE WE HAVE DECIDED TO BRING A SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEM.

"What My Problem"

FOR YOUR INFORMATION, YOU HAVE TO STOP ANY FURTHER COMMUNICATION WITH ANY OTHER PERSON(S) OR OFFICE(S) NOTE THAT BECAUSE OF IMPOSTORS, WE HEREBY ISSUED YOU OUR CODE OF CONDUCT

"So Who is the Impostors?"

[Nanook]

VEIW THE ATTARCHMEANT AND OPEN IT
If I knew what an attarchmeant was then maybe I'd know how to view it. Or open it.

[Scam Buster]

work together with him so that you can archive your gaol

He 4got to tell me what goal to archive or where to archive it!!!

[Gentle Giant]

did not make any will (en-state)
Most people probably wouldn't do that. :rolleyes:


I am Mr's EDILINE SUARZE A complete citizen of coted'ivoire
Well, we like them complete. There's nothing worse than an incomplete citizen.

[Dororo]

Yourself, attached to Ticket number 356-00098-3211-222
I am attached to a ticket.

[Cold War Kid]

Attn: Parcel Bearer
Kinda makes me feel like Frodo. Get right out of town Sauron. Mordor or bust!

[Central Scrutinizer]

It is due to doubts you developed on me, you know, at a time you take me as a fraudster.
And time has not changed my views on that subject.

[Quark]

Contact Mrs Katrina Humph sitting
I prefer to stand when I contact scammers.

[Spanish Administrator]

You are highly required to read the attached concerning your payment and get back to me a.s.a.p.
Highly required.....

[Ivana]

thanks for all your effort witch never prove positive

actually the results were quite positive - for me :D

thanks for all the time

actually, thank you :D

[Kit Kat]

I managed to make my way to the nearby country Burkina Faso where I am leaving now.
Destination: Adventure!

[Scam Buster]

I am very sorry for all that i have couse you

Repeat that

I am indeed very sorry and please send this fee now

And again

i says sorry for all i might have couse you

And again

This winning price belongs to you not me so it is lets for you to send this fee or you forget about your winning price because i have already say sorry to you.

And again

ask him why then he told me that he is very sorry

And again!

I am very sorry for all the barrister might have cused you and also please try to settle with him as he has appoligise to you on his bad behaviour towards you

Yawn! this toyboy is getting boring:65:

[Jessica]

We are glad to have you as one of our luckly winners.
Maybe they mean one of "our likely winners".

[Dororo]

WE CAN NOT RELEASE THE SAID CLAIM WITHOUT HEARING FROM YOU OR ANY OF YOUR CLOSED RELATIVE.
My relatives are open.

[Naruto]

Your email address has brought to you this expected luck.
So I should not be surprised :confused:

[Dororo]

The UNITED NATIONS DEVELOPMENT PROGRAM, established 1877 by the Multi-Million groups
I thought it was after 1945. :(

[Godzilla]

the communication problem faced by most of our Board Members since many of them cannot read, speak or write English Language except Chinnese which is our official Language Fluently.
And maybe they cannot spell it too.

[De Master Yoda]

Note: This message will be identified as junk for your safety, this indicates that this message is from Microsoft and AOL Corporation.


OOOPS!:qqb006:

[Scam Buster]

hereby to inform all their customers by eradicating all their communication with the scam mails that are going all-over the world be careful with their e-mails so that your parcel will not be in danger with their evil planes.

scam mails going all over the world endangering my parcel with evil planes:rolleyes:

[Scam Buster]

Attention' Attention''Attention'''
sbipolar
CLAIM NOTIFICATION.

The case of a MI email

[Central Scrutinizer]

please save me the anxiety of endless waiting
No comment.

[Central Scrutinizer]

Do inform me on this if you're interesting
I am a really boring person, not interesting at all.

[Sphinx]

the secretary to the UNITED NATION Eroupean Union and Golf Contries Leaders.
Golf Country! That's the place for me. Is it in Eroupe? Anyone know? :rolleyes:

[Naruto]

Recently,my doctor told me that i have cardiac problem which affected my heart
I think it happens. :rolleyes:

[Garreg Ddu]

This money was deposited in a box as germ stones to avoid much demurrage from the security company.

Well, I don't think I will be taking up the offer of the "germ stones" - we are having problems enough with "Swine 'Flu", let alone being rocked by another disease.

[Marie]

I am a US citizen, 39years. But I reside and work here in the States, and my hometown in the States is New Jersey.
Hometown is New Jersey? I think it is state.

[Spidey]

PLEASE COMMUNICATE WITH US FASTER TODAY.
It would have been helpful if they had at least sent me their phone number.

[Scam Buster]

we want to find out if you're still alive
Last I looked I was:D

[Jessica]

I am a citizen of whales
Um maybe she has a weight problem?

[basenji]

all I will need from you to make this transaction a success, is your complete name and address, date of bath, drivers license

Oh yes, when was that again? Boxing Day 1975?

[Jessica]

Pleas Find Attached my proposal read and revert back to me.
I'll just stay myself if it's all the same.

[Central Scrutinizer]

FedEx Online Costumer Service
Guy must be into theatrics.

[Sphinx]

a Conformable Bank Draft
So it conforms to what?

[Kit Kat]

OFFICE OF THE NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISE
Whatever. :rolleyes:

[Naruto]

...but I personally found out that he died with his wife Maria who was their daughter Andrea Eich who was her husband Christian who was and their children Katharina who was 8 and Maximilian who was 10 all died in the crash.
Very strange family.

[Jessica]

I found It uneasy to survive myself
I can understand that. I'd hate to wake up and be a scammer every day.
May the lord bless you, as you reach me, please to Remind you, dont belong to scammers or any act of fraudulent act on Internet.
That would be good advice for the scammer to follow.

[Nanook]

Sound advice, scammers.

[Sphinx]

I have been in the hospital in Liverpool and my sickness continue getting worster
And her grammar isn't getting any better either.

[Jessica]

Please contact the sender if you believe you have received this email
I'm not sure I believe I received that email. I'm still not sure. Maybe I did. I mean who knows?

[Central Scrutinizer]

Here is our official emails adress, to contact for any further axistance
This guy is sharp.

[Sphinx]

THIS IS MY THIS AND FINAL MAIL
I had a this once. Really nice and shiny too.

[Dororo]

Sacrament, CA 85914
He needs a map.

[Dick H Box]

Or a Priest? Who might give him the last Sacrament?

[yullan]

I am an orphan and I have just a sister that was killed by the JTF after severely rapping her two weeks ago…

Nothing like having a sister to rap.

[Kit Kat]

Due to the petitions received by the UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon from all over the continent in regards to the fraudulent activities going on in the West Africa sub-region with security's agent and diplomats who has been delaying people's funds, consignment and valuables in their custody and demand out-outrageous fees to get their consignment released to them.
Sentence fragment. No verb. Email from a "doctor".

[Marie]

YOU WINE PLEASE OPEN YOUR ATTACHEMENT
In public? I like wine but...

[Quark]

I AM A WIDOW BEING THAT I LOST MY HUSBAND
I thought that was the dictionary definition.

[Cold War Kid]

Cancer of the Pelvics
That's gotta be painful!

[Marie]

unfortunatly when my client came petronizing our services
What is it???

[Spanish Administrator]

my father was the ark enemy of president Robert....
Hmm. An ark enemy.

[Nanook]

she easily gets along with kids and other pets and she ain't bite
Good doggie, especially that biting thing.

[Spanish Administrator]

But can send email!

I am suffering from a protracted cancer of the lungs which has affected my brain

[Naruto]

Be informed that FAILURE to have this cleared out will attract a JAIL TERM.
Jail term is not attractive.

[Sphinx]

the Security Keepin Fee
Glad to know they are keepin my money safe. Has this guy been to Alaska?

[Cold War Kid]

Not just ugly, but urgly. Or maybe Urgly is the name of a city?
relation died alongside with him at Urgly plane crash

[Marie]

THE Backlays Bank
I don't know it.

[Naruto]

to get myself organized and carter for my children
Carter for children?

[Shadow]

Carter for children?

Otherwise known as Mum's Taxi.

[Central Scrutinizer]

or contract payment in a tone of Millions of United States Dollars
That is just music to my ears.

[Cold War Kid]

My father was a highly reputable business Magnet
And he had the personality to go with it.

[Dick H Box]

From Nasira Mohammed of The Royal Windsor Farm Shop, no less, who is a veterinary drugs scammer.


This product is a vaccine use for animal treatment and health care.It
is very essential in raising animals like horses, lamps, Sheep, cows, dogs etc.


Would that be standard, ceiling or desk lamps?

[Dororo]

No beneficiaries will receive his or her payment through ATM card or diplodiplomat deleiver again all payment should be through online bank.
Diplodiplomats. Maybe more of diplomat than regular diplomat.

[Spanish Administrator]

Be careful of who you think you are showing this massage to
It's for adults only!

[Central Scrutinizer]

I have decided to quite my job and resettle in any other country
I want to quite mine too.

[Marie]

an electronic selection of winners using their u-mail addresses
U-mail? What is it?

[Spanish Administrator]

This might explain a lot....
All Governmental and Non-Governmental prostates, NGOs, Finance Companies...

[Naruto]

the federal Government of United Kingdom
I knew it was something.

[Spanish Administrator]

the federal Government of United Kingdom
That's the problem. Been a republic all the time we thought it was a Kingdom.

[The Doctor]

the federal Government of United Kingdom
Right, so do we have a president or a Queen?

[Spidey]

nobody has operated in his account because the account has NO BENEFICIARY attached to it.
I would not want to be attached to an account either. I can't blame anyone.

[callan]

yes I’m even surprised I want somebody dead, for the second time.

Doubly fatal!!

[Sphinx]

So he's in North America or South America?
I am in Coloumbia now.

[Gentle Giant]

or you to make the payments which are dully necessary in claiming your funds.
Dully noted.

[Jantje]

Hot off the press from a scammer ... maybe the interior decorator is needed to clean up mess after the execution .... :rolleyes:

i am an interior decorator travel round the globe for purchases and contract execution and i love my job and my family

[Kit Kat]

I am still a small boy
He has no idea how much truth there is in that statement. In so many ways. :rofl:

[Nanook]

We shall be expecting to receive your information as you have to stop any further communication with anybody or office.
So that means don't communicate with them?

[Spanish Administrator]

We have been receiving complaints from many foreigners with reference to the scam acitivitis of African Scammer.
acitivitis...evil stuff, that is.

[Kit Kat]

I also want you to always uplift me in prayer.
How about if I uplift you with a swift kick in the posterior region?

[Dororo]

Contact Person: Mr. Kelvin Wallet
He is honest criminal. :rolleyes:

[Kit Kat]

Are you truly dead?We wait for your urgent response today
Let's assume for the sake or argument that I am. How am I supposed to answer that question? Haunt them? :rip:

[Spanish Administrator]

Mrs. Joan C. Bailey
Watch out for her. She's always trying to steal everyone's money in Nigeria! You have been warned. :)

[Dororo]

What? What?
Note no ticket where sold and because this is an international lottery we had to find a way to get to the world
What?

[Cold War Kid]

I KNOW THAT THIS EMAIL WILL BE A BIG SURPRISE TO YOU, BUT I WANT YOU TO CALM DOWN AND READ VERY CAREFULLY.
Yeah I was so excited I almost wet my pants. Of course, I was mainly laughing eh? :D

[Jinnosuke]

on a personal request in search of a reliable and trustworthy foreign individual, though we have not melt before.
It is a hot summer.

[The Doctor]

You are to contact ASS. DEPUTY GOVERNOR
I will not touch that one.

[Kit Kat]

Probably safer that way, Doc.
This promotion exercise is proudly sponsored by the Rotary Foundation int'l (UK), in conjunction with .......Dell-Computers, Mackintosh
Pure genius. :rolleyes:

[boardflak]

Just got this in a text message on my cell phone:

There is a problem with your Harison account! Call urgently at (888)XXX-XXXX!

I'll get right on that, just as soon as I actually have a "Harison" account.

[Spanish Administrator]

We use Western Union service to fasten the process of payment delivery
That makes it secure I presume.

[Central Scrutinizer]

From our buddy, Daniel Berner:
you sexually harrass me making jokes about my penis site-you have to be arrested for that!!!
Evidently he has a website for his "little friend". I would say he doesn't have a good grasp of the law but he might have a good grasp of something else. But I'm no expert.

[Kit Kat]

OMG! He is the best. :rofl:

[boardflak]

In an email promoting cheap V and C, the scammer decided to wax poetic at the end:

A shattered body deeply hurt.
With voices in my head.
You a grand slammer.
Do the wings of your butterfly.

But you like the way I hold the microphone.
That ain't the thing you ought to fool with.
Wake up kids.
That will make the crops come.
beware of the lies a word to the wise.
A get the dance hall swingin.

It’s a shaky situation.
Come full circle.

Yeah it's time to crash.
Stuffing it in every hole.
Never Learn to Fly.
When she did what she was doin.I don't know if that's original or quoting something else. I didn't recognize it.

[Sphinx]

From Daniel Berner:
She Had Some Mutant Geans Passed In Her Dna
You have to admit this guy is comic gold.

[boardflak]

From Edmund Boston (who uses the email addy "giddiness" at solatransport.com), as Western Union:

The amount of money transfer: 8907 USD.
Money is available to withdrawl.

Details were supposedly in the attachment to the email. Since I don't have a drawl, though, it would be fruitless.

[Central Scrutinizer]

It has been a very sad and bad moment for me the present condition i found myself is so intoxicated to explain.
I think that explains the problem really clearly.

[Kit Kat]

The reason for sending this mail is very fundamental to the doctrine of human privileges and right.
I'm no expert on law but I don't recall that human privileges and right include the right to steal money from people using the internet.

[Quark]

Sure. Got it. No problem.
Your urgent act in response is needed as I was instructed by Mr. John Tegger, as a result of to facilitate and due respect and not intelligence how much hectic you are at the jiffy, kindly make contact with the exceeding administrative center for immediate transfer of your applicable funds with the
below demanded items.

[The Doctor]

BENEFITING MASSAGE
I hope there are other amenities that come with it as well.

[Kittychan]

I will not come back till end of first quarter of the year 2008.
But it is September 2009. :p

[Quark]

the insurance company of Ivory Cost
How much does it cost??

[Garreg Ddu]

NB:ALSO BE WARNED THAT SO MANY PEOPLE(FRAUDSTARS) HAVE STARTED MAKING FORGERY OF MY GOOD NAME.


"FRAUDSTAR" - you said it scumbag.

[Central Scrutinizer]

I am an orphan being that I lost my parents.
I think that is the textbook definition of an orphan. :rolleyes:

[Spidey]

IN GOD WE TRUST
all others, cash.

[Spidey]

Costumer Support
That inspires a lot of confidence in my bank. Of course I don't have an account in Australia....

[Nanook]

the most polular MUSICIAN WHO WAS SHORT DEAD IN SOUTH AFRICA
Short dead.....I guess that means they died young?

[Miyuki]

Please note that your lucky winning number falls within our American booklet representative office in America as indicated in your playcoupon. In view of this, your 1,000,000 GB Pounds would be released to you by any of our payment offices in Europe(UK).
That is very logical, representative in America so they pay from the U.K.

[Kit Kat]

What...ever!
DANLOARD YOUR ATTACHMENT

[Gentle Giant]

This has to approach the classic. :rolleyes: And this guy is supposed to work in a bank.
His flight fairs must be paid to us upon his arrival
and....
and the draft must clear and confirm into your account before he fly’s back here to England.

[Jessica]

I am suffering from a long time cancer of the brain .From all indication my condition is really deteriorating, and my doctors have courageously advised me that I may not live beyond the next two months,
but I can still send email!

[Kit Kat]

You will claim the sum of $3,000,000.00 (Three Million United Dollars
Like it or not!

[Central Scrutinizer]

Your email address has brought to you this expected luck
Ain't it always the way.

[Nanook]

I think this speaks for itself.
This is to informed you that Nestle Food has recently exposed their weak Inconsistent to announce you as one of the 13 lucky winners on the ongoing 12 Years Nestle Food Promotion Award of the New Year Held on 1st of October 2009. Furthermore during electronic selected balloting of world wild email Address for the promotion selected, your details (e-mail address) fall within Our zone during the nestle food promotion as indicated in your Sending mails and exchanging mails in the internet and your prize of ( 920,000.00GBP) this will be released to you from the regional branch office in UK.

[Quark]

Yee-ouch!!!
Before my in-castration, I went ahead to dispatch the sum of $40 million Dollars in a Ghana Bank

[Gentle Giant]

Due to the congestion in all Yahoo users
Maybe Yahoo users are developing sinus infections or colds. :confused:

[Nanook]

you can request to transfer the cash direct to your bank account or issue you a chaque within 7 hours
Chaque please!

[Garreg Ddu]

Mr. Mark Smith - HEINEKEN BOTTLING COMPANY

(9) MARITAL STATUE :


Fame at last, or on the fourth plinth in Trafalgar Square.

[Kit Kat]

i am currently admitted in a privet hospital
Maybe she needs pruning?

[Dororo]

Security agencies from Asia, Europe, Oceania, Antarctica,South America and the United States of America
Oh, Antarctica has a security agency now. :rolleyes:

[Spidey]

We have many flexible plans to help you release the equity in your home.
Yes, many plans to help release your home equity right into the scammer's pockets.

[Kit Kat]

As I was away from the home town, due to some unavaidable circumstances
There are some things you just cannot avaid.

[Ivana]

De Educated Lad???

HELLO SIR AND OR MADAM,

I WISH TO INDUCE YOU IN A PROSTITUTION! I HAVE 10,000,000,000$ IN FUNDS THAT I WISH TO WU YOU! I HOPE YOU ARE REAL AND SQUISHY! I HOPE TO FIND YOU IN HEALTH>

THE MOST ADMIRABLE AND AMAZING

SHESWALLE BIGROCK

[Ram D]

This was sent by a scammer I call Greg he wants the MTCN and Uncle Willie wants some naked snaps, A stalemate indeed. a recent e mail from Greg.

Hello Uncle Willie

Why cant you believe and trust me,
the pictures have being taking.and i cant attch it and scan as well , due to short of money.

please willie take this risk and used it to try and know the type of person i am, i say this before god and i, i am not tryin to scam you.

i pray after this for more to come, this is an upptunity for me and i will not like to loos it.
i beg you in name of god send the MTCN number so that i complete the payment of the photos to the company and collect it, i made this promise to you as soon as i recieve this money it will not take 24 hr to finanlise every isur on these.

Yours Sexy man

[Jessica]

Whatever... :rolleyes:
I am a Chinese Government registered angel investor based in Beijing China
I'd like to invest in some angels. Angel-food cake would be nice too.

[Marie]

some funds left behind by a late customer that died before
Maybe it is zombie customer. It's Halloween.

[Kit Kat]

Next of kin
The choice of contacting you is aroused from the geographical nature of where you live
Kinky :6:

[Spanish Administrator]

I DID NOT FORGET YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE THE SOURCE OF MY SUCCESS
Or the source of his failure. :65:

[Miyuki]

a good opportunity for you to receive your payment without hazzles.
I like hazzles. They're very sparkly.

[Naruto]

It's secret!!!
Before his death he made a deposit of Ten Million USA Dollars ($10,000,000.00)here in Code Ivoire

[Spanish Administrator]

Should you be interested?
Let me guess, this is a trick question.

[Garreg Ddu]

I am not a criminal and what I do, I do not find against good conscience

Nice lie, Frederick. Pity you have been proved to be a criminal already! :D

[Sapphire's Strike]

"Listen to me, i am too big to refer to you H.S.B.C BANK and your doubting my integrity"
"what the hell are you talking this man, i am going crazy with what your writing"

Come on scammer, make my day! :91:

[Kit Kat]

I AM A FEMALE AS STATED BY OUR CULTURE IN THE TOWN.
You can't argue with City Hall!

[Central Scrutinizer]

NOTE THAT BECAUSE OF IMPOSTORS, WE HEREBY ISSUED YOU OUR CODE OF CONDUCT
I wonder if any of these idiots actually knows what a code of conduct is.

[Sapphire's Strike]

"I have just read your email and I think we have been intercepted" :D

"I should be the one talking about risk here because I am a banker and my service for this bank must be accounted for."

"Do you really think that I am a fool?".......Simple answer is... YES! :76:

[Garreg Ddu]

This idiot criminal scammer must be hedging his bets :pound:

Below is the contact address of the conference secretariat .via E-mail:

(tomi.cookman@gmail.com) OR (tomicookman@gawab.com)

you can also contact me on my privet E-mail:
[isabellajacob@gawab.com]

Yours Sincerely,
Mrs. Isabella Jacob.

Assistance Youth Leader (IHAO).



http://antifraudintl.org/showthread.php?p=81052#post81052

[Central Scrutinizer]

Please I would like you to keep this proposal as a top secret and delete it if you are not interesting.
I am not remotely interesting at all. :rolleyes:

[Cold War Kid]

Subject: A benefiting massage
Now that is exactly what I need. :34:

[Dodobird]

Non-Governmental prostates
The non-government must be learning something new...
:11200:

[Gentle Giant]

as a part of their for-profit philanthropic wing
Those greedy buggers.

[De Master Yoda]

WHY ARE YOU SO SCARED AND ALWASY INVISIBLE!!???

From Daniel Berner a low life scammer, who states that he is an English teacher:D

[Kit Kat]

TRAINING CENTER FOR THE DEAF AND DUMP
It looks like Bernerese.

[basenji]

I believe this is the binging of a great relationship between you and me.

Well that's food for thought.

To stay in this his country gives me bad humor.

The joke's on you.

[Gentle Giant]

THIS IS INLINE WITH POLICES GUIDING THE RULES AND REGULATION OF OUR MOTH BANK IN USA.
Mothra rules!

http://antifraudintl.org/imagehosting/64b18d51abe4d5.jpg

[finn3]

"..do not let this God given opportunity slips offs your hand.."

Thanks my god!
Lol there is nothing funny! I'm sorry. :(

[Gentle Giant]

as Chase Staff remit or release so many payments to payee or Transferee questionably under influence of Voodoo or magic calls from Criminals either from Nigeria or their Associates
That explains a lot. Voodoo...it does it every time.

[Miyuki]

@CS, they still say it. :rolleyes:
The Bible made us To understand that blessed is the hand that grivet.

[Nanook]

For more info you can reach me through the Above email in case my proposal arouses your interest.
There were no pictures baby. I don't know if I'm aroused or not.

[Nanook]

Kindly understand that I do not have the right to convince you about claiming your prize, but to correspond with all sincerity and obedience without error or omission of necessary information that should be made available to you.
Yes sah!!!!

[Cold War Kid]

ANSPRECHSPERSON: FRAUD NICHOLAS MARK
I don't think you have to speak German to enjoy that one.

[Kit Kat]

I HAVE TREAD TO LOOK FOR SOME ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I fear there is no hope for this woman.

[Miyuki]

DO NOT SEND MONEY TO ANYONE UNTIL YOU READ THIS MAILAnd we would add, of course, do not send money to anyone AFTER you read the mail.

[basenji]

You Could be surprised why i picked you. But someone has to do it. I am have been diagonalized with HIV/AIDS...

Wonderful treatment.

[Central Scrutinizer]

I am have been diagonalized
I'm an angular Saxon myself.

[Kit Kat]

TO WHOM IT MAY CONSIGN
Consign what?

[Quark]

we lived all day in Abidjan, Ivory coast
Wow. 24 hours in Abidjan. I bet that would be hard.

[Kit Kat]

I have been undergoing treatment for esophagi cancer at Netherland
Apparently the Netherland is a good hospital and she will need it since she seems to have more than one esophagus, and all of them are cancerous.

[Naruto]

our son is just 17yearold now and been grow up in Africa, he have low manterity
What is manterity?

[Spidey]

Your first reaction to this mail will be total rejection, scare and may be unbelief
Yeah, I'd say that covers all the bases.

[Marie]

I know it is wrong.
33 YATCH BASIN MARINA OFFICE

[Gentle Giant]

i have travelled for a course in which i will be back by the end of this year
Looks like you have about 2 days to get back home, unless that's for 2010.

Non-Scan Airport upliftment Charges
Yeah, whatever.

[Dororo]

Abbey Bank?
It has come to our attention that your Abbey account information needs to be updated as part of our continuing commitment to protect your account in this year 2007
I don't think so.

[Quark]

The choice of contacting you is aroused from the geographical nature of where you live
Stop that! Quit whatever it is that gets you aroused about my geography.

[Spidey]

Subject: I believed that I can trust you?
Yeah, whaddaya believe now?