Life in hell for scammers


Staff member
Nanook gave me the idea for this.

There used to be jokes, so-and-so dies and goes to hell....

So I thought, what if? So a scammer dies and goes to hell. What else would you expect?

But wait, here the thing: What's it like there? I imagine a vast (hot) room with computers that run some weird, corrupt, evil operating program like, oh, vista, and every computer just crashes every 3 minutes and the scammer can never send email. For eternity.


lol that would be scammer the Vista touch ;-)

...all scamming each other - no real vics on their mailing list...

I have one who honestly started to look (big time) for a job here (US) for a H2 Visa, thinking if he got a job set up I'd really let him move in with me...he posted a resume on and was overwhelmed with spam and was complaining - all I could do was chuckle :D


Q: How long do we have to stay here?
A: What was your last MTCN #? that's it, in years

Central Scrutinizer

Staff member
I think the pictures of the guys having hot wax poured on their heads gives them a good taste of their future life in hell.


Staff member
In Buddhism you are born again the cycle of rebirth so I think they would be reborn as goats. This is because their behavior has a certain animalistic quality to it. And what could be more cosmically ironic than for them to become one of the goats they so dearly love.


Staff member
I imagine a situation in which all the emails they send get an automatic reply saying something like "Thank you for your email: I am out of office and will not be able to read or reply to any emails until Judgement Day"


I imagine a situation in which they keep going to Western Union for nothing for eternity. Mind you we often create that impression for some of em!

Central Scrutinizer

Staff member
Maybe scammer hell is full of only WU. And the banks require 2 proper forms of picture I.D.

De Master Yoda

Thousands of WU MTCN numbers with LOTS of money in the account, but all showing as EIGHT digits :D


So like I get the part about scammers will go to hell. But this is my question. A scammer boi in Lagos dies and goes to hell. How does he tell the difference?
Maybe the difference between Earth and Hell for the scammers is no technology..phones, wire transfers, computers, internet cafes, tv, radio, or other means used for scamming or it's propaganda. Would it be fitting if they couldn't talk or type due to lack of body parts being torched there in Hell? :D


Re life in hell for scammers

Have every internet connecting device specially equipped with a type of secret scam spam detection software that cancels the scammers e-mailing. Instead of reaching victims he gets "daemon mailer" notices telling him that his e-mails are undeliverable, and automatically ships his scummy scamies back to him.

His victim is left in peace and never receives the scammer's trashy e-mailings.

Imagine the scammer's frustration over this!

A practical idea, too...Anyone up for a new invention?

Scammer hell? It's where the scammer sees all the other yahoobois constantly going to the WU and coming back with pockets full of cocaine, gorgeous women on their arms, driving massive great SUVs. Meanwhile, every scam he tries turns out to be a baiter, but such a smart baiter that the lad always forgets the last time and makes his way to the WU office, only to be rejected and beaten up by the security guards as the other bois laugh at him writhing on the floor in pain.

Of course, it's all an illusion. Every scammer down there believes he's the only one not succeeding and everyone else is making money. Jealousy is one of the prime motivators of the lads. As one has just written to me (he thinks I'm a Nigerian lad):
if you know wetin i dey tell you for here ,u go hate urself
i dey chop dollar here and dey buy new cars...u dey abuse for here
wow wow wow....sorry to tell you that i will be coming back to Nigeria by May 1st for holiday and i will try to find you
we dey enjoy UK here and the atmosphere is great
money is good, when it comes to GBP and Dolls
do you know what 65k dollars mean?
thats my latest payment in UK and i bought a 2007 toyota camry for my wife in Niger
money is good
u dont really know the meaning of lol lol lol
i love talking to you,lets keep on talking while i collect dough
instead of you to ask me to train you and teach u the latest levels
I asked him if his wife needed a second-hand beatup Toyota to compensate for his deficiencies in the genital department - I want to see his reply.

Central Scrutinizer

Staff member
Maybe we could sell them condos in hell and we keep the title so we can evict them every other day.


What would Hell entail for a scammer? Hmmm, maybe Big Bubba standing behind them with a lecherous, lustful look on his face, and all their scam emails bounce back with a picture of themselves subtitled "I have been exposed as a scammer. Introduce me to Bubba"


New Member
A thousand cycles of reincarnation as victims :D