Scammers say the funniest things, part 5

[Miyuki]

but work in (Lhasa) Ivory Coast

I don't think so.

 

[The Doctor]

I feel quite safe dealing with you in this business proposition,

Because you are a stupid git.

 

[Jessica]

SINCE WE DIDN'T EVEN HERD FROM YOU

I'll give him a home where he can roam.

 

[Nanook]

Starting on September 17,2019, YAHOO! customers who have not updated their email account will no longer be able to log in to their Yahoo and through email addresses.

Very strange because I can login to my Yahoo mail on September 18...

 

[Spidey]

Please if you fine this massage on your spam move it to inbox it maybe poor network!!!

Another example of fine English from a lawyer.

 

[Sphinx]

Here in Sudan, we are under house arrest

...but they don't monitor our email.

 

[The Doctor]

an American citizen who died in a ghastly motor accident

Is there any other kind?

 

[ADD-Coder]

WARNING: Due to computer malfunction and activities of internet hackers you are advised to keep your grant very confidential and to only yourself until you have claimed your grant to avoid double claims that would void your grant.

I appreciate when a scammer is kind enough to warn me about hackers!

And that they take their obligations seriously:

In accordance with my statutory obligation and jurisdiction, I humbly inform you that I am a solicitor and my area of jurisdiction is in the area of filing of applications for your undelivered package(s), lost claims due to various factor ie time expiration and irregularities in receiving address etc.....In this circumstance, filing for your funds(grant).

 

[Maya]

Seattle, Benin Republic

Oh no.

 

[Prints Of Darkness]

United States Country in North America

Whew. Glad I haven't moved!

 

[Sandy Beach]

Make sure you send us YOUR full information along with the fund released Oder

This stinks.

 

[Miyuki]

We are pleased to inform you of the result of the just clouded annual final draws

But clearing.

 

[Hua Mulan]

All Governmental and Non-Governmental prostates

 

[Central Scrutinizer]

FROM U.S.A, WHTITE HOUSE

I'd recommend the tour.

 

[Dororo]

YOU ARE NEXT OF KIN TO A DECEASED ACCOUNT

I am lucky.

 

[Sphinx]

because you have been slient for a while.

That happens a lot.

 

[Jessica]

This is legitimate,legal and your personality will not be compromised.

You bank account and credit rating, that's another story.

 

[Cold War Kid]

Davi Williams 52 years old, from FRANCIS,

Near Scoltland I'm sure.

 

[Sphinx]

Probably let me know what you really need the money for.

But it's not essential.

 

[ADD-Coder]

I give you 100% assurance and guarantee that it is 100% assuring that you will definitely receive your Card within 72hours

Well, now that you give me your assuring assurance, I'll run right down and get that $100 iTunes gift card.